Sad Story: "Tearful Andrew Luck Hugs Knees ...

[Smonroe]

This is why they shouldn't fight in front of the kids.

 

Tearful Andrew Luck Hugs Knees To Chest While Listening To Chuck Pagano, Ryan Grigson Fighting Downstairs

 September 30, 2015

Vol 51 Issue 39  ·  Sports · Football · Nfl Football

 

 

INDIANAPOLIS—Cowering in the dark at the top of the locker room steps, a tearful Andrew Luck reportedly hugged his knees to his chest Wednesday while listening to Colts head coach Chuck Pagano and general manager Ryan Grigson fighting downstairs. “They’ve been yelling for a while, and I’m pretty sure I heard them say ‘Andrew,’” said the visibly distraught quarterback, shuddering as the sound of raised voices echoed loudly in the stairwell. “Mr. Grigson was shouting that he signed enough talent and coach doesn’t know what to do with it. Then coach screamed ‘I can’t stand this anymore’ and ‘I hate you.’ Why can’t they just stop fighting all the time?” Luck then reportedly began trembling after hearing a loud crash followed by a disconcerting silence.

 

 

[IndyD4U]

I love the Onion.

[shakedownstreet]

there there luckipoo 

[Smonroe]

I love the Onion.

 

You mean it's not real?

[ProblChld32]

What is this Malarkey? 

[shakedownstreet]

wittle andrew-poo needs to man up!

[COLTS449]

Somebody needs to yell at Grigson lol.

[shakedownstreet]

so which one ended up dead? pagano or grigson?

[Ja'Crispy]

What is this Malarkey?

The Onion

[SkyBane]

What is this Malarkey? 

Apparently someone isn't familiar with the most famousest of fake news outlets. It's a satirical spoof on the various reports surrounding the perceived dysfunction of the Colts.

[superrep1967]

so which one ended up dead? pagano or grigson?

Grigson is gone he's a jerk and uncompromising.

[crazycolt1]

Somebody needs to yell at Grigson.

You need to lighten up. This was in the onion. You know, a joke?

[superrep1967]

so which one ended up dead? pagano or grigson?

Grigson is gone he's a jerk and uncompromising.

[crazycolt1]

Grigson is gone he's a jerk and uncompromising.

You don't know that.

[COLTS449]

You need to lighten up. This was in the onion. You know, a joke?

 

Yeah I know man. I meant my comment in a joking manner too lol. You misunderstood.

[ProblChld32]

Apparently someone isn't familiar with the most famousest of fake news outlets. It's a satirical spoof on the various reports surrounding the perceived dysfunction of the Colts.

 

Not familiar at all, lol thanks for the clarification 

[shakedownstreet]

You need to lighten up. This was in the onion. You know, a joke?

 

you just know there'll be quite a few who'll use this thread as a springboard to whine about the o-line, coaching, talent evaluation, etc

 

posts about our AWFUL offensive line are about as original as jim caldwell's latest facial expressions

[CR91]

god this cant get any worse

[HungarianColtsFan]

They need counseling. Grigs&Pags or The Onion...I'm not sure yet.

[radiogirl]

 

This is why they shouldn't fight in front of the kids.

 

Tearful Andrew Luck Hugs Knees To Chest While Listening To Chuck Pagano, Ryan Grigson Fighting Downstairs

 

 September 30, 2015

Vol 51 Issue 39  ·  Sports · Football · Nfl Football

 

 

INDIANAPOLIS—Cowering in the dark at the top of the locker room steps, a tearful Andrew Luck reportedly hugged his knees to his chest Wednesday while listening to Colts head coach Chuck Pagano and general manager Ryan Grigson fighting downstairs. “They’ve been yelling for a while, and I’m pretty sure I heard them say ‘Andrew,’” said the visibly distraught quarterback, shuddering as the sound of raised voices echoed loudly in the stairwell. “Mr. Grigson was shouting that he signed enough talent and coach doesn’t know what to do with it. Then coach screamed ‘I can’t stand this anymore’ and ‘I hate you.’ Why can’t they just stop fighting all the time?” Luck then reportedly began trembling after hearing a loud crash followed by a disconcerting silence.

 

Is this story real?  I read it too.  Seems a little dramatic for a grown man to be holding his knees and trembling?  Even my young teenage boys would tell them all to "suck it up!"

[radiogirl]

Apparently someone isn't familiar with the most famousest of fake news outlets. It's a satirical spoof on the various reports surrounding the perceived dysfunction of the Colts.

Good.  There is plenty of dysfunction right now.  But, this sounded more like a bad episode of the Brady Bunch!

[Gramz]

People,  It's the Onion....    say no more.

 

Gave me a good laugh tho.

[Colts_Fan12]

Lol the amount of people that think this was a real story are hilarious

[radiogirl]

Lol the amount of people that think this was a real story are hilarious

Seriously, I've been in media for 30 years and still can't keep up with the influx of so many new news outlets, online outlets, blogs, etc.  I did laugh when I read it though!

[crazycolt1]

Lol the amount of people that think this was a real story are hilarious

That is the mind set of the negative people who look at anything to whine about.

[Buck Showalter]

I love the Onion.

I've tried & tried to like the onions brand of sarcastic social/political commentary...

but I rarely find it that funny...

[southwest1]

My only response to this article..."It's my party [as the franchise QB] & I'll Cry If I Want To." 

 

Not the funniest story I ever read as a loyal Onion subscriber, but then again, comedy is a volume business & not every joke soars...More like plummets. Yeah I know, both my music & comedy standards are very high. 

[shakedownstreet]

My only response to this article..."It's my party [as the franchise QB] & I'll Cry If I Want To." 

 

Not the funniest story I ever read as a loyal Onion subscriber, but then again, comedy is a volume business & not every joke soars...More like plummets. Yeah I know, both my music & comedy standards are very high. 

 

yeah that's how comedy writing works. you make up 100 jokes and maybe 2 or 3 end up being pretty good

[DougDew]

Seriously, I've been in media for 30 years and still can't keep up with the influx of so many new news outlets, online outlets, blogs, etc.  I did laugh when I read it though!

Except The Onion has been around for at least 25 years. At least when it was local...Madison Wisconsin I think.

[ColtRider]

Is this story real?  I read it too.  Seems a little dramatic for a grown man to be holding his knees and trembling?  Even my young teenage boys would tell them all to "suck it up!"

Mine would've told them to "shut up" and act their age. Hey, apples don't always fall near the tree ... do they?

Edited October 7, 2015 by Nadine
skirting the filter

[southwest1]

Except The Onion has been around for at least 25 years. At least when it was local...Madison Wisconsin I think.

 

Yep, that's where it used to be published from DD & their writers used to have a harder edge operating from the Badger State that they never got back once they relocated unfortunately. 

I've tried & tried to like the onions brand of sarcastic social/political commentary...

but I rarely find it that funny...

I hear ya Buck. Their sports crossover stuff rarely works. They are usually better with political campaign or sex scandals on average. It's okay if you didn't crack a smile man. It just means you have discriminating tastes & don't fall for cheap laughs. The Onion used to be so innovative & comically sophisticated locally, but now she seems to have lost her mojo. Sad really. 

[ColtRider]

Mine would've told them to "shut up" and act their age. Hey, apples don't always fall near the tree ... do they?

Oh, come on ... I hear all you people out there laughing ... I was busting my gut when I typed it because it's true ... it's okay to respond, I promise. My kids tell it like it is, not like it's not. One of their Dear Ole Dad's traits.

[southwest1]

They need counseling. Grigs&Pags or The Onion...I'm not sure yet.

A Colts on the Coach segment like our former GM's "Polian's Corner" but satire to help fans deal with their team's frustrations, vulnerabilities,  front office squabbles, & SB stumbling blocks...

 

Yeah, I know the best franchises never air their dirty laundry in public...I only like my drama in movies as opposed to the field. Forget what I said.

 

If Frank Gore keeps coughing up the ball, I may need counseling though. At least anger management anyway. I'm kidding or I think I am anyway. Ask me after Thursday's Nights Game vs Houston. 

[radiogirl]

Except The Onion has been around for at least 25 years. At least when it was local...Madison Wisconsin I think.

Maybe I'm a little too radio focused. And, clearly I live under a rock! Ha!

[pacolts56]

Little Andrew should go downstairs....line up the both of them PLUS Pep....and give em' a good 3 Stooges slapping.

[OffensivelyPC]

you just know there'll be quite a few who'll use this thread as a springboard to whine about the o-line, coaching, talent evaluation, etc

 

posts about our AWFUL offensive line are about as original as jim caldwell's latest facial expressions

But seriously, our OL is awful and grigson should be fired yesterday.  Put me in coach!  /sarcasm

[chad72]

The sulphur from The Onion makes my eyes water  

[southwest1]

Lol the amount of people that think this was a real story are hilarious

You do make a good point CF12. There is subtle sarcasm [which BHC excels at] & over the top sarcasm [which Ruksak & The Peytonator usually perform admirably.] Lollygagger8 is gifted at sarcasm too. 

 

It is a credit to the Onion that some fans asked is this for real? There's a fine line between propaganda and embellishment. But, I do applaud the writer's efforts at comic relief even when it falls short. 

 

I have to give Shakedownstreet credit too because in the middle of serious responses he will drop a line that hit me like a rogue baseball & makes me roll with laughter. Like a hidden Easter egg discovery. 

[DougDew]

Maybe I'm a little too radio focused. And, clearly I live under a rock! Ha!

The Onion was in print for a long time. As SW1 said, it changed format and the content went along with it. It used to be really funny.

[ColtsBlueFL]

But seriously, our OL is awful and grigson should be fired yesterday.  Put me in coach!  /sarcasm

 

Grigson should stand in a corner and Pagano grounded to his room.  Liver and onions with side of spinach for dinner,

and neither can leave the table until their plates are clean!!     /netnanny sarcasm mode off

 

I've tried & tried to like the onions brand of sarcastic social/political commentary...

but I rarely find it that funny...

 

Sometimes they are over the top for me.  A few others, they come close to the sarcastic mark.