Coming out of the closet in the NFL

[ÅÐØNϧ 1]

I realize some on these boards like to shy away from uncomfortable subjects , Me included unfortunately in my world running away from the issues lead to ignorance instead of understanding & acceptance .

For me this is personnel , For I'm a caveman & my mentality & acceptance of an alternative life style has been hard .When I realized my oldest was gay , I was angry & could'nt understand how this could of happened to me ... Yeah I'm a macho man how could my baby insult me like this ,  What about grandchildren ?? I'v been ripped off .

 

It was all about me & my feelings for several years . Well now my baby needs me she & her partner of several years are gonna be moving in for a few months .

 

My hatred has turned to acceptance . I'v come around to understanding everyone has a right to be happy & just because I don't understand does'nt make it wrong .

 

So if NFL players come out how will there fans react .. 

 

The locker room how will the other players react as well - will this help or hurt these players ?

 

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9137573/brendon-ayanbadejo-says-four-players-considering-coming-gay

[Nadine]

we don't shy away from uncomfortable subjects.....we do discourage subjects that are not about football and that tend to cause fights

 

because we have enough to fight about

 

this one is topical in the nfl though and I ask that people be civil in the discussion

[HungarianColtsFan]

I think sexual orientation is everyone's private issue. If a player thinks he has to come out with this issue then fire away, I don't think it would shock me or his team-mates. His performance on the turf is the only thing that matters, nothing else. I hope no players will receive any kind of disadvantage due to it's "coming out".

[ColtJ82]

This is a tough subject for an NFL locker room. I personally feel sad for the individuals that have to hide who they are. This subject is obviously a large part of the current pop culture in America. It would be a big step for the homosexual community to have these individuals step forward as representatives in an industry that is in the forefront of American culture. 

 

I personally have no issue with these individuals coming forward. However, I can certainly understand how difficult of a decision this must be for them. The backlash could be huge or very minimal. If they do decide to step forward, I would hope that their teammates would realize that they are the same person as they were prior to coming forward. 

[ÅÐØNϧ 1]

we don't shy away from uncomfortable subjects.....we do discourage subjects that are not about football and that tend to cause fights

 

because we have enough to fight about

 

this one is topical in the nfl though and I ask that people be civil in the discussion

 

Thank you Nadine .   I just told my wife a few minutes ago this is a subject for adults .  I welcome others who can at least understand that a simple conversation is helpful & this subject as a teenager was viewed 1 way & a adult another .  I

 

This is a tough subject for an NFL locker room. I personally feel sad for the individuals that have to hide who they are. This subject is obviously a large part of the current pop culture in America. It would be a big step for the homosexual community to have these individuals step forward as representatives in an industry that is in the forefront of American culture. 

 

I personally have no issue we this individuals coming forward. However, I can certainly understand how difficult of a decision this must be for them. The backlash could be huge or very minimal. If they do decide to step forward, I would hope that their teammates would realize that they are the same person as they were prior to coming forward. 

 

IMO  most players will be okay with it they know whos who , There will I believe be no issues I'm sure the players union has had sensitivity training or something to address this eventuality I hope ..

 

I do wonder if locker rooms will be changed ?  &

 

What changes does the NFL need to make if any ? 

 

Hi Nadine & Thank You

[Balzer40]

I think the biggest problem is the media. IMO most people are willing to accept a gay lifestyle. Personally, I do not understand it, but it's not my problem to deal with. I grew up with a guy that I always knew was different than the rest of us guy's but he always pretended to be straight and even married a girl after high school.

 

It did not last very long and he finally came out to everybody. He asked me if I had a problem with it and I just told him that his personal life is none of my business. I do have a problem when some try to use it to their advantage and think they should get special rights because of their sexuality. 

 

The main problem will be the media who will try to make them out to be hero's or what not. They will still be the same player as they always were. They should be able to come out if they wish too and just live their life's as they wish instead of having every conversation with the media bringing up his sexual preference's. If these players do come out, every single thing ever talked about with these particular players will always have the openly gay message attached to it and I personally do not want to hear it. If they decide to come out, the media needs to just leave it alone and move on.

[DILLIGAFER]

I equate the issue to the 'gays in the military'. If you do your job, do it well, and don't flaunt it, I don't see any problem with it.

[ColtJ82]

I think the biggest problem is the media. IMO most people are willing to accept a gay lifestyle. Personally, I do not understand it, but it's not my problem to deal with. I grew up with a guy that I always knew was different than the rest of us guy's but he always pretended to be straight and even married a girl after high school.

 

It did not last very long and he finally came out to everybody. He asked me if I had a problem with it and I just told him that his personal life is none of my business. I do have a problem when some try to use it to their advantage and think they should get special rights because of their sexuality. 

 

The main problem will be the media who will try to make them out to be hero's or what not. They will still be the same player as they always were. They should be able to come out if they wish too and just live their life's as they wish instead of having every conversation with the media bringing up his sexual preference's. If these players do come out, every single thing ever talked about with these particular players will always have the openly gay message attached to it and I personally do not want to hear it. If they decide to come out, the media needs to just leave it alone and move on.

Fortunately, the media in American doesn't tend to make a spectacle of this kind of thing. It is not like we have to worry about this being the topic on every sports radio/television all day work a week.   

 

In all seriousness, the media will have a field day with this. 

[BrentMc11]

As i was coming out of my closet today, I tripped over the humidifier, my tennis shoes and my avatar.   Woof, said he

 

As to the topic, it is a shame to me that this is even news today.  This is not the early 80s.  

 

Lets get to the draft  :nfl: !!!!  If I draft a gay player who cares?....As long as he puts on the pads, he hits you, and helps the Colts build the successful monster !!   :colts:

[Qwiz]

Well we all saw how the fans/media reacted to the Te'o spectacle, with many speculating that he was gay. And for some reason...now a lot of people don't like Te'o, even though he's claimed to have been tricked by a hoax. He is still a good player on the field, and some have him evaluated as a first round talent. We can all say that the players will be accepted now when no one's come out, but how will America really react if it happens? Politics and football don't mix, but if players do start coming out there will be a storm. But coming out is a good first step, you have to weather the storm to get to the sunshine.

[amfootball]

I have this conversation with my brother a lot as both of us love football and neither of us watch the game because of the players personal lives. For football fans, honestly it is a non-issue. I just care that my team/players show up and play. I mean you have guys like Cromarie that have fathered children by multiple women and that is just as uncomfortable IMO but yet he is a really good player so you look past it to his play on the field which is what is most important.

 

In terms of the locker room. I think these guys will have a hard time. Football is what it is and the amount of ridicule they will take from some players will be intense. I think the media will love them but their own teams will have internal issues.

[Tark The Shark]

I am theater major in college and have been around gays and lesbians most of my life. I don't bat an eyelash seeing 2 guys or 2 girls together. They deserve to do the same as same sex couples.

 

I have also been in a football locker room as well and I think players would be uncomfortable around other known gay players. 

 

I think with todays mindset of players, some would be accepting, some would not.

 

As a fan, I don't care if he only has one arm, as long as he plays his heart out and does his best, then I don't care what his lifestyle choices are.

[Thewholefnshow28]

To me I have always felt that the NFL will be the last of the major sports in the US where a gay person is welcomed.  There is just this over the top macho mentality that propagates through the lockeroom.  That some how if you are gay that you cannot be tough or work hard.  You saw that ignorant mentality on display when there issue come up in the military. Throw in the ignorance that Chris Culliver spewed, which I would suspect is much more prevalent in lockerooms and you just do not create an accepting environment. 

 

It should not matter what people do in their own bedroom but to fans and fellow players it does.  To me as long as the guy can play on Sunday and perform I do not care if he likes woman or men.  I do believe there would be a big backlash from fans and players, but a few years as more players feel they can come out the less of a big deal it will be.

 

Eventually we will see a prominent sports figure come out, but I can all but guarantee that it will not be football first.

[FightLikeSin]

Nobody should be oppressed or treated differently/unfairly for who they are. The NFL should be indifferent in regards to race/religious beliefs (or lack thereof) and sexual orientation. These are professional athletes. It shouldn't be a big deal. I hope everyone will be understanding and accepting when these players choose to come out.

[House]

If players can jam religion down everyone's throats using the NFL as a platform, I fail to see why homosexuality is a big deal at all.

Who cares if players are uncomfortable. If your that put off, please quit the NFL and not make millions of dollars. Because the notion that someone should have to hide because someone would be uncomfortable around them, is crazy.

[Valpo2004]

Quite honestly I think they would probably find far more acceptance then most people will think.

 

Most of the guys who are playing now are younger then me.  (I'm 30)  And I can say that being homophobic is pretty frowned upon by most people who are my age.  

 

I would say maybe 5% of players cause any sort of ruckus about it.  15% are uncomfortable but don't say anything because they want to keep their jobs.  30% may disapprove of homosexuality on moral/religious grounds but arn't going to think a gay player is anything to freak out about.  The remaining 50% either don't care or are supportive.  

[Superman]

I personally don't understand "coming out," especially as it pertains to the sports or entertainment world. I think your sexuality is your business. I don't think there needs to be an event to publicize what your sexual orientation is. I understand telling the people closest to you, and I don't think anyone necessarily needs to hide what they are. But I don't care whether you're gay, straight, asexual, celibate, a hermaphrodite, whatever. It's not my business. Just live your life.

[Black-Vell]

There is no way this topic is ever going to go over without a hitch. Not in the scope of todays media spectrum. The only way it would work is for a complete media blackout. Like for teams to identify who's who internally - let the players know - provide some type of forum to deal with possible issues & go from there. But like I said - impossible to keep out of the media. And once the media gets involved - its only a matter of time before they find someone to say or do something stupid. 

 

We all know intelligence breeds tolerance. A NFL lockeroom is not the most intelligent place you can go. Imagine an NFL player being asked every day about how he feels about a gay teamate? Lets say the gay teamate is a Kicker who just missed a game-winning FG in OT of a playoff game. The media will be in hyperdrive trying to get that 1 emotionally inept comment. And lets not even think about how the fans would react after 3 hours of drinking responsibly.    

[Buck Showalter]

Sports in general have some underlying homoerotic themes going on...

How many male fans walk around wearing other mens names on the back of their jerseys,

 

Roman soldiers had alot of homoerotic "stuff" going on back in the day as well, football is the modern American version of gladiator style competition, why wouldn't there be some players who were homosexual...

 

I just dont think media should blow that stuff up & make an issue of it...

[Poster X]

I equate the issue to the 'gays in the military'. If you do your job, do it well, and don't flaunt it, I don't see any problem with it.

One of the biggest issues with the military and "don't ask don't tell" was that you didn't even have to flaunt it to loose everything. If you were open you could be tossed out no questions asked... and no one should ever be afraid of being themselves.

I'm Gandalf the grey, not gay... but some of my close friends are.

[21isSuperman]

If players can jam religion down everyone's throats using the NFL as a platform, I fail to see why homosexuality is a big deal at all.

Who cares if players are uncomfortable. If your that put off, please quit the NFL and not make millions of dollars. Because the notion that someone should have to hide because someone would be uncomfortable around them, is crazy.

 

I realize some on these boards like to shy away from uncomfortable subjects , Me included unfortunately in my world running away from the issues lead to ignorance instead of understanding & acceptance .

For me this is personnel , For I'm a caveman & my mentality & acceptance of an alternative life style has been hard .When I realized my oldest was gay , I was angry & could'nt understand how this could of happened to me ... Yeah I'm a macho man how could my baby insult me like this ,  What about grandchildren ?? I'v been ripped off .

 

It was all about me & my feelings for several years . Well now my baby needs me she & her partner of several years are gonna be moving in for a few months .

 

My hatred has turned to acceptance . I'v come around to understanding everyone has a right to be happy & just because I don't understand does'nt make it wrong .

 

So if NFL players come out how will there fans react .. 

 

The locker room how will the other players react as well - will this help or hurt these players ?

 

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9137573/brendon-ayanbadejo-says-four-players-considering-coming-gay

These have got to be two of the bests posts I've read in a long time.

[Yehoodi]

If players can jam religion down everyone's throats using the NFL as a platform, I fail to see why homosexuality is a big deal at all.

Who cares if players are uncomfortable. If your that put off, please quit the NFL and not make millions of dollars. Because the notion that someone should have to hide because someone would be uncomfortable around them, is crazy.

I would not go far as saying people jam stuff down our throats, players are just saying what they think in their opinion has helped get to where they are, be it family, coaches, teammates, or other; that is for them to opine on and not really for us to try to decide did or did not help them . . . we should endeavor to embrace such opinions as we all want to embrace the sexual orientation of others . . . its for them to have and for them to be proud of . . .

Regarding homosexuality and the sport of football, well any sport for that matter, I do not see the problem with it personally. However, I can understand perhaps how some might feel uncomfortable with a person in the lockerroom that has sexual feelings towards the same sex as you. Not that players would be making advances on other players . . . but would one have a problem with a guy in a girls locker room or a girl in a guys locker room? . . . For the most part people, I included, would not have a problem. But if one is naked in a lockerroom and taking showers with teammates there may be some that are not comfortable with it, and for them I repsect their feelings . . . otherwise I see no problem with one's orientation in a sport . . . it does not matter just as it does not matter if thier faith orientation is not in line with the media's . . .

[Vance]

Who cares.

[The Old Crow]

Don't ask, don't tell is a good approach. I'm glad Ayanbadejo is gone from the Ravens, because most fans don't care about this stuff, and it's people's personal business. Most fans want to talk football, and escape these ludicrous political and social arguments.

[GoColts8818]

If a player comes out as Gay I wont care.  It's who he is. 

[nburgmei]

I personally don't understand "coming out," especially as it pertains to the sports or entertainment world. I think your sexuality is your business. I don't think there needs to be an event to publicize what your sexual orientation is. I understand telling the people closest to you, and I don't think anyone necessarily needs to hide what they are. But I don't care whether you're gay, straight, asexual, celibate, a hermaphrodite, whatever. It's not my business. Just live your life.

I think that's the problem. Even if a gay player just wanted to go about his business living with his partner, quietly and privately, it would still end up becoming a circus because people still make such a big deal about it. It hasn't reached the point yet, for most people, where they can see a gay couple and not think twice about it. It's still "news." Hopefully some day sooner than later people will stop caring about it so much.

 

As far as football is concerned...I couldn't care less what the players do in their lives aside from obviously immoral things (i.e. Vick + dogs). I do find it "funny" that being in a locker room with a homosexual could potentially be more off-putting than being in a locker room with someone that fought dogs or has children from umpteen different women.  

[MikeVander]

I just hope the first person is some beastmode dude like LaRon Landry so that nobody would ever say anything. 

YEA say somethin'.

[nburgmei]

I just hope the first person is some beastmode dude like LaRon Landry so that nobody would ever say anything. 

YEA say somethin'.

Does he really look like that? That's not shopped?

[MikeVander]

I dunno, it might be, that tricep is looking a little odd. 

[ruksak]

I'm all for equality but let's be real.

 

What happens during shower time? 

 

If gay's were present in the locker room, how would the sexual dynamic be any different than having woman in the showers too? 

 

Where this gets sticky is the reality of the situation. If you have openly gay players on your team, there is a 100% chance that said gay player WILL be attracted to some of his teammates. I'm sure if you put me in a locker room with 50+ woman, I'll find more than one of them attractive. 

 

This would be.....distracting and carry with extreme potential for morale liability. 

[ruksak]

I do find it "funny" that being in a locker room with a homosexual could potentially be more off-putting than being in a locker room with someone that fought dogs or has children from umpteen different women.  

Why is that "funny"?

 

I challenge ANY of our female members to claim that they would be comfortable being naked/near naked in a locker room with men. 

 

There is no difference. Gays are just people. They aren't from another planet. They aren't a different race. They aren't special at all. They are people like you and me and the only thing that separates them is their sexual preference. 

 

SO....how many woman here want to take a shower with men? I absolutely guarantee that I would feel the same way they would in a shower room with gay men. 

[ruksak]

As i was coming out of my closet today, I tripped over the humidifier, my tennis shoes and my avatar.   Woof, said he

 

As to the topic, it is a shame to me that this is even news today.  This is not the early 80s.  

 

Lets get to the draft  :nfl: !!!!  If I draft a gay player who cares?....As long as he puts on the pads, he hits you, and helps the Colts build the successful monster !!   :colts:

 

What happens when gay players start dating each other? What happens when they break up? 

 

We aren't considering the whole picture here, me thinks. This is going to be another issue where people refuse to admit the inherent pitfalls because they don't want to be seen as bigots. 

[Qwiz]

What happens when gay players start dating each other? What happens when they break up? 

 

We aren't considering the whole picture here, me thinks. This is going to be another issue where people refuse to admit the inherent pitfalls because they don't want to be seen as bigots. 

Well that would be one way to intensify a rivalry...we're going to see like the first real relationship between two "sports" figures competing against each other in NASCAR this year.

[schwamm]

I heard rumors of a player thinking about coming out a couple weeks ago, and thought about starting a similar thread.

In general, I agree with Superman. I somehow manage to live my life without discussing my sexuality with very many people at all. Certainly not ever with any people I've worked with... In fact, it rarely even gets discussed with my wife anymore... Nobody really needs to know about my inner freak.

However, I can see Ruksak's point. I was on a swim team in HS, we had a boy who was "out" on the team, and I remember feeling a little awkward in the showers. But that was HS, and I was far more self-conscious about my body then. I'm not entirely sure I'd feel uncomfortable now, but I don't find myself naked in locker rooms very often anymore.

[ruksak]

Well that would be one way to intensify a rivalry...we're going to see like the first real relationship between two "sports" figures competing against each other in NASCAR this year.

That's not a team sport. Totally different dynamic.

 

Lemme lay out a scenario and let's see what we think of it.

 

Luck and Wayne come out as gay. The nation applauds. What courage!!

 

A torrid love affair blossoms. They date, they move in with each other. Life is grand. They're the new "IT" couple. Let's call them 'Andwayne'...or Reggrew'...that'll look good on the cover of People Magazine. 

 

One day, Andy (as he now calls himself) comes home and finds Reggie and Coby Fleener in the hot tub, ya know, resting those sore calf muscles.

 

A nasty fight ensues, bitterness, heartbreak, the dream is over. 

 

Now what do we think of it?

 

And I'm torn here. Because I HATE the idea that any person should be excluded from any activity because of their sexual orientation  But make no mistake. This proposition comes with pitfalls. 

 

I suppose, if the fans can accept the issues that arise, we go forward. The reason this dynamic has never seen the light of day within the realm of competitive team sports is because these activities have always been strictly separated by gender. 

 

This isn't a candy 'n' roses issue. It WILL get ugly.

[ruksak]

EDITED OUT BY ruksak: Probably not a good idea. Sorry. 

[Qwiz]

That's not a team sport. Totally different dynamic.

 

Lemme lay out a scenario and let's see what we think of it.

 

Luck and Wayne come out as gay. The nation applauds. What courage!!

 

A torrid love affair blossoms. They date, they move in with each other. Life is grand. They're the new "IT" couple. Let's call them 'Andwayne'...or Reggrew'...that'll look good on the cover of People Magazine. 

 

One day, Andy (as he now calls himself) comes home and finds Reggie and Coby Fleener in the hot tub, ya know, resting those sore calf muscles.

 

A nasty fight ensues, bitterness, heartbreak, the dream is over. 

 

Now what do we think of it?

 

And I'm torn here. Because I HATE the idea that any person should be excluded from any activity because of their sexual orientation  But make no mistake. This proposition comes with pitfalls. 

 

I suppose, if the fans can accept the issues that arise, we go forward. The reason this dynamic has never seen the light of day within the realm of competitive team sports is because these activities have always been strictly separated by gender. 

 

This isn't a candy 'n' roses issue. It WILL get ugly.

Well if that were to happen Wayne definitely wouldn't be getting any balls in practice or game time But yes that could indeed be a serious issue. Maybe the rules committee could come up with some kind of forbidden-relations with teammates thing, kind of like the workplace in retail. That would prevent things getting tense in the locker room, and would help hold teams together. But, of course, rules were meant to be broken...

[schwamm]

That's not a team sport. Totally different dynamic.

Lemme lay out a scenario and let's see what we think of it.

Luck and Wayne come out as gay. The nation applauds. What courage!!

A torrid love affair blossoms. They date, they move in with each other. Life is grand. They're the new "IT" couple. Let's call them 'Andwayne'...or Reggrew'...that'll look good on the cover of People Magazine.

One day, Andy (as he now calls himself) comes home and finds Reggie and Coby Fleener in the hot tub, ya know, resting those sore calf muscles.

A nasty fight ensues, bitterness, heartbreak, the dream is over.

Now what do we think of it?

And I'm torn here. Because I HATE the idea that any person should be excluded from any activity because of their sexual orientation But make no mistake. This proposition comes with pitfalls.

I suppose, if the fans can accept the issues that arise, we go forward. The reason this dynamic has never seen the light of day within the realm of competitive team sports is because these activities have always been strictly separated by gender.

This isn't a candy 'n' roses issue. It WILL get ugly.

The only thing I'd suggest is that having someone come out as gay wouldn't cause what you've described, and frankly, I'd actually be a little shocked if there haven't already been a few such relationships in the NFL.

[ruksak]

Well if that were to happen Wayne definitely wouldn't be getting any balls in practice or game time

OMG I can't believe you just said that. No way you did that by accident.

 

 

 

 

Maybe the rules committee could come up with some kind of forbidden-relations with teammates thing, kind of like the workplace in retail. That would prevent things getting tense in the locker room, and would help hold teams together. But, of course, rules were meant to be broken.

 

I considered that. This certainly never stopped anyone before. Now, not only do we have consequence of the rule infraction, but the obvious issues that arise when you break up with a coworker. 

 

This is amplified by the fact that we're talking about a team sport. Discipline is key, and nothing rots and the foundation of discipline more than romance. 

[House]

That's not a team sport. Totally different dynamic.

Lemme lay out a scenario and let's see what we think of it.

Luck and Wayne come out as gay. The nation applauds. What courage!!

A torrid love affair blossoms. They date, they move in with each other. Life is grand. They're the new "IT" couple. Let's call them 'Andwayne'...or Reggrew'...that'll look good on the cover of People Magazine.

One day, Andy (as he now calls himself) comes home and finds Reggie and Coby Fleener in the hot tub, ya know, resting those sore calf muscles.

A nasty fight ensues, bitterness, heartbreak, the dream is over.

Now what do we think of it?

And I'm torn here. Because I HATE the idea that any person should be excluded from any activity because of their sexual orientation But make no mistake. This proposition comes with pitfalls.

I suppose, if the fans can accept the issues that arise, we go forward. The reason this dynamic has never seen the light of day within the realm of competitive team sports is because these activities have always been strictly separated by gender.

This isn't a candy 'n' roses issue. It WILL get ugly.

What stops the heterosexual man from blowing up with his girlfriend/wife, and going on a week long bender, and making himself useless when it comes to playing on the field. Just because one guy might "work" with his significant other doesn't make him in a worse spot than one who doesn't.

Or you know maybe they could break up like adults lol.

The world is a crazy place.