2011 Colts Brought To You By: Paintervision

[John Waylon]

That's right, folks! Paintervision! When you drop back to throw always remember to use paintervision and stare down your target before you make the throw! And for the passer deftly in need try the improved paintervision: drive! Not only do you stare down your receiver for an entire play, you stare him down for an entire drive!

BUT WAIT! If you order in the next 20 minutes we'll throw in a free pack of screen passes and short slants at no extra charge!

Order now, supplies are limited!

paintervision is not for everyone. Side effects include uncontrollable laterals, sacks, sack fumbles, interceptions, 3 and outs, and in rare cases mildly successful drives. Those with great quarterbacks should not use paintervision. Consult your coach before prescribing to paintervision.

Paintervision: stare down your receivers.

[Moncrief]

What number do I call.

[John Waylon]

What number do I call.

1-800-SK4-LUCK

[Smitto]

FAIL.... Why am i not surprised this man is the one to make a thread like this, if there ever was a dude to hate painter this would be him... good game by painter bad play by him.

[leatherman]

garcon did more to help us lose than painter...........

[hawkeyes]

Painter did nothing wrong the entire game! Nothing! That last interception was due to him trying to press AFTER the game had already been decided thanks to a horrible play by Garcon! Painter has played well - the defense let us down again!

[Andy]

momma told me never to buy stuff from the vision of the tele. Anyways, don't hate on Painter...

[John Waylon]

I'm just saying he stares down a receiver the entire play. He did it for entire drives early on to Wayne and Garçon.

It's not hard to see. His head never moves.

[Blue Horseshoe]

The man just doesn't have it. I'll be very surprised if the team wins a game with him playing quarterback.

[John Waylon]

rage post to defend painter for all of the 0 wins he's earned us

zzzzzzzz

[MacDaddy]

You bore me...That one interception does not diminish what he did in the game. Let's see...Dallas Clark and Garcon's fumbles =14 points for Cincy. Lack of defense to stop a third and 7 ...crucial. Jacob Lacey sucked. You would fail as a standup....Chelsea Handler would chew you up and spit you out.

[leatherman]

Haters gonna hate..........we can win with painter and right now he is the only QB on the team not named manning who can help us win......

[GoGoColts]

Painter is probably better than Mark Sanchez. Plus, to my knowledge Curtis doesn't date 17-year-olds.

Edited October 16, 2011 by GoGoColts

[CanuckColtsFan]

Yeah Painter played well enough and that INT does not count

[Captain Americolt]

Annnnyyyy waayyyyyyyyyyyssssssssssssss... You guys see that Clark catch? Nice!

[Smitto]

zzzzzzzz

Last time i checked this was a team sport... this isnt tennis or golf

[John Waylon]

Last time i checked this was a team sport... this isnt tennis or golf

Sure. But he's still mediocre at absolute best, better than collins or not.

Certainly not worth all the defense he gets.

The defense of painter is no more absurd or annoying than the talk of drafting Luck.

[bluebombers87]

HAHAHA you really are saying this aren't you? You're serious too?

If he stares down his receivers, he still does a heck of a job getting the ball there and only has 1 interception THAT ABSOLUTELY DID NOT COST US THE GAME.

If he stares down his receivers so badly he would a whole lot more picks than 1 this year.

Weak argument. Poor attempt at humor. I rate this thread as lame overall.

[-JJ-]

LOL. I thought it was hilarious. Paintervison lol. I don't know if its true but its prettty clever humor if it is....

[John Waylon]

LOL. I thought it was hilarious. Paintervison lol. I don't know if its true but its prettty clever humor..

Aha. We have a genius in the house.

Someone gets it. The defense of painter doesn't send you into fits of a rage post.

Kudos for you.

[Smitto]

Sure. But he's still mediocre at absolute best, better than collins or not.

Certainly not worth all the defense he gets.

The defense of painter is no more absurd or annoying than the talk of drafting Luck.

The defense of painter is well deserved... for ppl to say your not an NFL QB and come out and do what he is doing now which is producing scoring drives, its definitely a reason to give him the credit... ppl and you are trying to scrutinize every pass the guy makes as though he is suppose to be spot on all the time. Im surprised painter hasnt thrown more pics as good as i think he is... he's a very good back up for the colts and possible starter for other teams in the NFL that has good defenses

[Mouthfire]

That's right, folks! Paintervision! When you drop back to throw always remember to use paintervision and stare down your target before you make the throw! And for the passer deftly in need try the improved paintervision: drive! Not only do you stare down your receiver for an entire play, you stare him down for an entire drive!

BUT WAIT! If you order in the next 20 minutes we'll throw in a free pack of screen passes and short slants at no extra charge!

Order now, supplies are limited!

paintervision is not for everyone. Side effects include uncontrollable laterals, sacks, sack fumbles, interceptions, 3 and outs, and in rare cases mildly successful drives. Those with great quarterbacks should not use paintervision. Consult your coach before prescribing to paintervision.

Paintervision: stare down your receivers.

I realize this is your weekly schtick, John... but, really???

Even if he was staring down his receivers (I'd have to look back at the tape again to tell), at which point did it actually cost us the game? The guy was 67% passing for the game, with one desperate interception late in the game, which I'm pretty sure wasn't due to staring down his guy. Even if he was doing so, that's totally correctable with time.

Edited October 16, 2011 by Mouthfire

[-JJ-]

Aha. We have a genius in the house.

Someone gets it. The defense of painter doesn't send you into fits of a rage post.

Kudos for you.

although I might add rookies tend to stare down WRs (rookie as in his 1st season starting)

[-JJ-]

I realize this is your weekly schtick, John... but, really???

Even if he was staring down his receivers (I'd have to look back at the tape again to tell), at which point did it actually cost us the game? The guy was 67% passing for the game, with one desperate interception late in the game, which I'm pretty sure wasn't due to staring down his guy. Even if he was doing so, that's totally correctable with time.

I think its more an observation. Staring down a receiver doesn't mean one is not excelling with other traits. Its only one trait, abeit a dangerous one.

[JCPatriot]

1-800-SK4-LUCK

Ha ha ha ha! That's awesome.

On a serious note, though, most backup QBs are mediocre at best. That's why they are backups. Heck, there are a few starting QBs that are mediocre at best.

[mightisright]

Exactly. It's a rookie mistake. Overall he's playing pretty well. He didn't lose us the game. The coaches, the defense, and the special teams lost us that game.

[scorptile]

im sorry but the defense and the bad plays by garcon and clark cost us the game. not painter. the OP is so full of FAIL

[OLD FAN MAN]

Painter did nothing wrong the entire game! Nothing! That last interception was due to him trying to press AFTER the game had already been decided thanks to a horrible play by Garcon! Painter has played well - the defense let us down again!

the defense got a lot of 3 and outs the offense had 2 turnovers for tds

[Smonroe]

Painter is probably better than Mark Sanchez. Plus, to my knowledge Curtis doesn't date 17-year-olds.

And at least as good as Flacco too. Both first round picks. (Throw in Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow)

He's doing what's asked of him, and doing it pretty well.

[John Waylon]

I realize this is your weekly schtick, John... but, really???

Even if he was staring down his receivers (I'd have to look back at the tape again to tell), at which point did it actually cost us the game? The guy was 67% passing for the game, with one desperate interception late in the game, which I'm pretty sure wasn't due to staring down his guy. Even if he was doing so, that's totally correctable with time.

... I said it cost us the game?

Why did no one tell me this?

Let me check my post again, that way I can find it in the future...

Reading reading reading.... Erm, nope. I didn't say that.

A typo, perhaps? I'll consult my brain...

Brain says no, not a typo. Painter didn't cost us the game.

Where that's coming from is entirely beyond me...

It's seriously sad how many of you took this as a serious thread. I mean, obviously, I expected smitto to come in and defend painter like I had just insulted his mother, but I thought most everyone else had the comprehension to get it. It appears that from now on when I post something of this nature I have to insult intelligence and make sure I stress it is a joke...

Seriously sad.

[hawkeyes]

the defense got a lot of 3 and outs the offense had 2 turnovers for tds

By stats thus far, the Bengals have one of the better Ds in the league - We put up 17 on them and if it werent for a missed FG (we should have went for that against the wind) and bone-headed play by Garcon we might have put up more. Our secondary cost us the game!

[Mouthfire]

... I said it cost us the game?

Why did no one tell me this?

Let me check my post again, that way I can find it in the future...

Reading reading reading.... Erm, nope. I didn't say that.

A typo, perhaps? I'll consult my brain...

Brain says no, not a typo. Painter didn't cost us the game.

Where that's coming from is entirely beyond me...

It's seriously sad how many of you took this as a serious thread. I mean, obviously, I expected smitto to come in and defend painter like I had just insulted his mother, but I thought most everyone else had the comprehension to get it. It appears that from now on when I post something of this nature I have to insult intelligence and make sure I stress it is a joke...

Seriously sad.

My bad. Every time I read your posts, I just instantly assume that everything is Painter's fault

Edited October 16, 2011 by Mouthfire

[JCPatriot]

It's seriously sad how many of you took this as a serious thread.

Not nearly as sad as the number of people that continue to take jim's "guy at practice" as a serious thread.

I think a big part of the problem is that you did not adequately describe the revolutionary technology that makes Paintervision possible. During the offseason, Painter had servo motors, an RF receiver, a GPS autolocation device, and a microprocessor surgically implanted in his neck. (There is actually nothing wrong with Manning. The whole purpose of his "surgeries" was to draw attention from the media so that Painter could have his surgery without anybody catching wind of it. Classic misdirection.) The wide receiver that Curtis is going to stare down carries an RF transmitter with GPS location in his belt for the designated play. (Except for Garçon.....for some reason, he insists on carrying it in his hand instead of putting it in his belt. That only leaves one hand free to catch the ball with. The coaches have been working with him on this.) As the play develops, the RF trasmitter that the receiver is carrying transmits its location to the RF receiver implanted in Painter's neck. This position information is used by the microprocessor to control the servo motors to keep Painter's head constantly pointed at the receiver as the play unfolds. When the Colts huddle up and Curtis calls the play, the receivers nonchalantly pass the RF transmitter to the receiver that Curtis is going to stare down during that play. The Colts have understandably been very secretive about this. As we have seen this season, Paintervision could revolutionize staring down receivers if it catches on across the league, and the Colts don't want to give up their edge. The no-huddle offense is somewhat problematic, though, as the wide receivers do not get a chance to exchange the RF transmitter. So even though Painter may want to go to Reggie on a play, he is forced to stare down Garçon. This sometimes leads to an interception when Painter throws to Reggie without realizing that he wasn't on the field for that play.

[John Waylon]

My bad. Every time I read your posts, I just instantly assume that everything is Painter's fault

He has to get in line behind caldwell, coyer, lacey, johnson, and linkenbach. ^_^

[John Waylon]

Not nearly as sad as the number of people that continue to take jim's "guy at practice" as a serious thread.

I think a big part of the problem is that you did not adequately describe the revolutionary technology that makes Paintervision possible. During the offseason, Painter had servo motors, an RF receiver, a GPS autolocation device, and a microprocessor surgically implanted in his neck. (There is actually nothing wrong with Manning. The whole purpose of his "surgeries" was to draw attention from the media so that Painter could have his surgery without anybody catching wind of it. Classic misdirection.) The wide receiver that Curtis is going to stare down carries an RF transmitter with GPS location in his belt for the designated play. (Except for Garçon.....for some reason, he insists on carrying it in his hand instead of putting it in his belt. That only leaves one hand free to catch the ball with. The coaches have been working with him on this.) As the play develops, the RF trasmitter that the receiver is carrying transmits its location to the RF receiver implanted in Painter's neck. This position information is used by the microprocessor to control the servo motors to keep Painter's head constantly pointed at the receiver as the play unfolds. When the Colts huddle up and Curtis calls the play, the receivers nonchalantly pass the RF transmitter to the receiver that Curtis is going to stare down during that play. The Colts have understandably been very secretive about this. As we have seen this season, Paintervision could revolutionize staring down receivers if it catches on across the league, and the Colts don't want to give up their edge. The no-huddle offense is somewhat problematic, though, as the wide receivers do not get a chance to exchange the RF transmitter. So even though Painter may want to go to Reggie on a play, he is forced to stare down Garçon. This sometimes leads to an interception when Painter throws to Reggie without realizing that he wasn't on the field for that play.

lololol!

[KirkCousins#8]

He's currently ranked in the top ten with a QB rating higher than 93.0.That's pretty good for a third string quarterback...dontcha' think?He has huge upside,and i would personally take him over Andrew Luck.I think Curtis has a similiar skillset to big ben.We're just now starting to see what this kid can do with some practice under his belt.He gets better weekly and i think he'll smoke the saints(350/4 tds).

P.S.By-the-way,there's alot of people that's starting to take a strong dislike to your personality.And please stop using the face to palm smily.That gets pretty old after 1 billion times.

[Coltsfanman1953]

Paintervision by Ronco.

[ruksak]

He's currently ranked in the top ten with a QB rating higher than 93.0.That's pretty good for a third string quarterback...dontcha' think?He has huge upside,and i would personally take him over Andrew Luck.I think Curtis has a similiar skillset to big ben.We're just now starting to see what this kid can do with some practice under his belt.He gets better weekly and i think he'll smoke the saints(350/4 tds).

P.S.By-the-way,there's alot of people that's starting to take a strong dislike to your personality.And please stop using the face to palm smily.That gets pretty old after 1 billion times.

I like John. You just gotta know how to take him. There are a thousand different personalities here and some of them (me) are goofy grapes. Relax fella.

.....oh and.....

[John Waylon]

He's currently ranked in the top ten with a QB rating higher than 93.0.That's pretty good for a third string quarterback...dontcha' think?He has huge upside,and i would personally take him over Andrew Luck.I think Curtis has a similiar skillset to big ben.We're just now starting to see what this kid can do with some practice under his belt.He gets better weekly and i think he'll smoke the saints(350/4 tds).

P.S.By-the-way,there's alot of people that's starting to take a strong dislike to your personality.And please stop using the face to palm smily.That gets pretty old after 1 billion times.

It appears I have a new troll. Yipee.

Something tells me it's a multi of a troll I've always had, but we'll just not spoil it.

When you take the thread seriously, you earn a...............................................

You guessed it!

It's a JOKE. Humor. Haha's. lol's.

:google: it because I'll get in trouble for personally attacking you if I explain it.

[KirkCousins#8]

It appears I have a new troll. Yipee.

Something tells me it's a multi of a troll I've always had, but we'll just not spoil it.

When you take the thread seriously, you earn a...............................................

You guessed it!

It's a JOKE. Humor. Haha's. lol's.

:google: it because I'll get in trouble for personally attacking you if I explain it.

And that's what we're talking about with you.I guess your mom turned the routor back on.Yipee for us!lol!