Dwayne Allen Takes a Stand

[HOZER]

These are the types of stories I like to read about our Colts....way to step up and embrace being a role model, hope more players take notice!

http://m.espn.go.com/nfl/story?storyId=11630052&src=desktop&rand=ref~%7B%22ref%22%3A%22https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F%22%7D

[GoDeep]

Solid

[Dark Superman]

Nice!

[Nadine]

Wonderful

 

Way to make a difference Dwayne.

[gacker65]

Props, Dwayne for stepping up

[HOZER]

I'd like to see one of Dwayne's past abusers take a swing at him now, may not end so well for them, lol!

[Valpo2004]

Not surprised he was abused by a step father.  Statistically a step parent is far more likely to abuse a child then their actual parent.  Probably of all the relationships a child can have the one with their step parent is the most likely to involve abuse.  The main reason my wife and I wouldn't get remarried any time soon if one of us died.  I would at this point wait at least 15 years.

 

I think his statistics are however inflated.  

 

Don't have a problem with what he's doing but we don't need wildly inflated statistics.

[ColtsBlueFL]

Not surprised he was abused by a step father.  Statistically a step parent is far more likely to abuse a child then their actual parent.  Probably of all the relationships a child can have the one with their step parent is the most likely to involve abuse.  The main reason my wife and I wouldn't get remarried any time soon if one of us died.  I would at this point wait at least 15 years.

 

I think his statistics are however inflated.  

 

Don't have a problem with what he's doing but we don't need wildly inflated statistics.

 

Agree, if you cite statistics, it needs to be validated.  I feel Allen is using the view that 70% of the Domestic violence is never reported. There are studies and articles trying to determine these things.  Here is one I had come across--

 

http://mic.com/articles/10919/domestic-violence-statistics-70-of-cases-go-unreported

 

Either way, it is time for this to be addressed, because the number is to large, no matter which numbers are used.  And it does cut to the core to see your mom abused and then take it so deeply to heart when asked by her after such to never angrily put a hand to a woman.  Good for Dwayne Allen.

[HOZER]

Not surprised he was abused by a step father.  Statistically a step parent is far more likely to abuse a child then their actual parent.  Probably of all the relationships a child can have the one with their step parent is the most likely to involve abuse.  The main reason my wife and I wouldn't get remarried any time soon if one of us died.  I would at this point wait at least 15 years.

 

I think his statistics are however inflated.  

 

Don't have a problem with what he's doing but we don't need wildly inflated statistics.

I don't think they're wildly inflated, even if they were what's the harm if it raises awareness? I doubt there's a real accurate way to record the amount of abuse that goes on, most of the victims live in fear and it goes unreported.

I have a stepdaughter although I never really call her that, I call her my daughter, and the thought of abusing her has never crossed my mind....her real father, on the other hand...........yeah real piece of work.

[Narcosys]

Great story and good for him. Unfortunately you can't quell the sins of man. This kind of stuff can never be fully stopped or prevented. This is just my opinion and lack of faith in my fellow man. It seems to be becoming more and more prevalent as time goes on.

[lollygagger8]

People that abuse children should be tortured. 

[Dr. Guildo]

Another reason to admire Dwayne Allen. Bravo.

[Valpo2004]

I don't think they're wildly inflated, even if they were what's the harm if it raises awareness? I doubt there's a real accurate way to record the amount of abuse that goes on, most of the victims live in fear and it goes unreported.

I have a stepdaughter although I never really call her that, I call her my daughter, and the thought of abusing her has never crossed my mind....her real father, on the other hand...........yeah real piece of work.

 

The truth is always better then fiction.  The difference in the statistics is when you inflate the statistics it makes it easy for people to consider a large percentage of men to be abusive.  If 1 in 4 women are being abused then 1 in 4 men are likely abusing them.  So if you have 4 friends that are guys at least 1 of them statistically is beating up his wife.  That's how moral panics start.  

 

There really arn't any accurate studies as to how often it occurs, you can't have that with a problem that probably goes unreported often.  But in order "raise awareness" and also to "raise funds" through both government funding and private funding these people use the most scary and eye popping stats they can come up with, but they base it on studies that where basically designed to give them large numbers.  But they end up making villians out of normal people and starting moral panics.

 

I note with approval that he also noted men are abused.  I also believe 1 in 7 men is probably inflated as well.

 

The fact is that you don't need numbers to know that you should help someone.  If it's only 1 in 100 women and 1 in 100 men does that mean we can forget about this problem and hang them out to dry???  Not to me it doesn't.  There is no need to inflate the statistics to "raise awareness".  

 

As far as you being a step parent.  It's statistically the most likely relationship to result in abuse.  That doesn't mean most step parents abuse or anything like that.  

 

I worked for a domestic violence agency 12 years ago when I was in college and my wife has a degree in child psychology. So between the two of us we are actually pretty well informed about the problem.  

[Valpo2004]

Agree, if you cite statistics, it needs to be validated.  I feel Allen is using the view that 70% of the Domestic violence is never reported. There are studies and articles trying to determine these things.  Here is one I had come across--

 

http://mic.com/articles/10919/domestic-violence-statistics-70-of-cases-go-unreported

 

Either way, it is time for this to be addressed, because the number is to large, no matter which numbers are used.  And it does cut to the core to see your mom abused and then take it so deeply to heart when asked by her after such to never angrily put a hand to a woman.  Good for Dwayne Allen.

 

As I pointed out in the previous post, it's impossible to get accurate statistics about something that can often go unreported.  

 

But in order to get more money and more attention these groups commission studies that are designed to give them the largest numbers they can.  But they end up villifying normal people and creating moral panics.

 

But I'm also of the opinion that you don't need something to be that inflated to have a reason to help people.

 

Even if it's just 1 in 100 people (both men and women) who are victims of 1 way violence.  That's still 3 million people across the US.  

 

I would also say that the mutually violent relationships (which are a majority) need help as well.  They probably need to be separated.  

[HOZER]

The truth is always better then fiction.  The difference in the statistics is when you inflate the statistics it makes it easy for people to consider a large percentage of men to be abusive.  If 1 in 4 women are being abused then 1 in 4 men are likely abusing them.  So if you have 4 friends that are guys at least 1 of them statistically is beating up his wife.  That's how moral panics start.  

 

There really arn't any accurate studies as to how often it occurs, you can't have that with a problem that probably goes unreported often.  But in order "raise awareness" and also to "raise funds" through both government funding and private funding these people use the most scary and eye popping stats they can come up with, but they base it on studies that where basically designed to give them large numbers.  But they end up making villians out of normal people and starting moral panics.

 

I note with approval that he also noted men are abused.  I also believe 1 in 7 men is probably inflated as well.

 

The fact is that you don't need numbers to know that you should help someone.  If it's only 1 in 100 women and 1 in 100 men does that mean we can forget about this problem and hang them out to dry???  Not to me it doesn't.  There is no need to inflate the statistics to "raise awareness".  

 

As far as you being a step parent.  It's statistically the most likely relationship to result in abuse.  That doesn't mean most step parents abuse or anything like that.  

 

I worked for a domestic violence agency 12 years ago when I was in college and my wife has a degree in child psychology. So between the two of us we are actually pretty well informed about the problem.

Yes I would say you are very well informed on the problem then. Here's a question- how does it make villains out of Normal people? In who's eyes? Society? Women? Government? Do you mean parents who use physical punishment(spanking/belt) are vilified? I guess I live by the motto "if you're not doing anything wrong then you have nothing to worry about?" I could care less what other people think of me personally as long as my intentions are good. Just curious I don't necessarily disagree with you.

And yes, stats really don't matter as long as word is getting out and at least some of the Abuse is being stopped. I have experienced abuse both in my personal life and quite often in my profession. Part of my job requires me to observe and report any signs of abuse if I suspect it is occurring. Can that sometimes lead to a false report? Yes, but in my eyes it's worth it if it stops even 1 case of abuse.

[Valpo2004]

Yes I would say you are very well informed on the problem then. Here's a question- how does it make villains out of Normal people? In who's eyes? Society? Women? Government? Do you mean parents who use physical punishment(spanking/belt) are vilified? I guess I live by the motto "if you're not doing anything wrong then you have nothing to worry about?" I could care less what other people think of me personally as long as my intentions are good. Just curious I don't necessarily disagree with you.

And yes, stats really don't matter as long as word is getting out and at least some of the Abuse is being stopped. I have experienced abuse both in my personal life and quite often in my profession. Part of my job requires me to observe and report any signs of abuse if I suspect it is occurring. Can that sometimes lead to a false report? Yes, but in my eyes it's worth it if it stops even 1 case of abuse.

 

It's not so much about how the police and the courts handle it, because while not perfect they actually IMO do a pretty good job.  You report it to CPS and they typically do a discreet investigation and don't announce to the news that so and so might be abusive.  (Therefore not ruining their lives if you misread a sign of abuse.)  They only announce it if they have enough evidence for an arrest.

 

But the problem is that it causes a moral panic and villifies normal people.  You have stories of guys sitting in parks minding their own business and people attacking them off the false assumption that they are pedophiles.  Why?  Because we have a moral panic going on over that right now.  

 

As far as what people think about you.  Your whole ability to live a normal and productive life depends entirely on what people think of you.  Obviously you have some sort of job working with children and that's great, a teacher perhaps?  But especially when we have moral panics the public doesn't wait for pesky things like investigations to judge someone.  And even when those things clear that person they are pretty often presumed to be guilty anyways.  If you are presumed guilty, then no one wants you with their kids.  And once an accusation becomes public, evidences ceases to matter, because moral panic.

 

By all means if someone has a good reason to suspect something is going on they should report it.  But having everyone suspecting everyone else of being abusive of either spouse or children, regardless of evidence.  That isn't a good thing.  I can't count the number of times I've heard people out loud say that a total stranger probably abuses spouse or children because they look weird or act weird or got mad in the parking lot.  

 

And honestly if 1 in 4 people are really that violent. . . I'd be afraid to go outside and I'd be afraid to let my children go outside.  

 

Inflated statistics such as this is also part of the reason we have kids who are getting overweight.  Because parents in the safest suburbs and little towns imaginable are scared to let their kid go into the front yard or let them go play at a nearby park.  

 

And I'm by no means suggesting not taking safety precautions.  But back when I was a kid we learned not to talk to or get in cars with strangers and if you lived in a safe town you where pretty much ok with that.  Now people hear that 1 in 4 people beat up wife or child and they are looking down the homes in their neighborhood and they are counting off "Geez statistically 4 inherently very violent people live on my street alone." and they unsurprisingly would rather have their kids playing video games.  Because with all the violent people in the neighborhood statistically speaking, you never know when some 200 pound dude is going to think my 8 year old is making too much noise and punch my kid in the face.  

 

I might be going a little over the top but that basically the general process that goes on here.  People even in the safest neighborhoods imaginable are inherently suspicious of everyone around them.

[HOZER]

It's not so much about how the police and the courts handle it, because while not perfect they actually IMO do a pretty good job. You report it to CPS and they typically do a discreet investigation and don't announce to the news that so and so might be abusive. (Therefore not ruining their lives if you misread a sign of abuse.)

But the problem is that it causes a moral panic and villifies normal people. You have stories of guys sitting in parks minding their own business and people attacking them off the false assumption that they are pedophiles. Why? Because we have a moral panic going on over that right now.

As far as what people think about you. Your whole ability to live a normal and productive life depends entirely on what people think of you. Obviously you have some sort of job working with children and that's great, a teacher perhaps? But especially when we have moral panics the public doesn't wait for pesky things like investigations to judge someone. And even when those things clear that person they are pretty often presumed to be guilty anyways.

By all means if someone has a good reason to suspect something is going on they should report it. But having everyone suspecting everyone else of being abusive of either spouse or children. That isn't a good thing. I can't count the number of times I've heard people out loud say that a total stranger probably abuses spouse or children because they look weird or act weird or got mad in the parking lot.

And honestly if 1 in 4 people are really that violent. . . I'd be afraid to go outside and I'd be afraid to let my children go outside.

nonsense statistics such as this is also part of the reason we have kids who are getting overweight. Because parents in the safest suburbs and little towns imaginable are scared to let their kid go into the front yard or let them go play at a nearby park.

I am a Firefighter/EMT. I have dealt with countless cases of abuse and neglect.....a lot of people do not realize how much observation we have to do in our line of work. I have had to assist many a patient as a result of domestic/child abuse and have to restrain myself often so I can see your point on vigilantism and people wanting to take the law into their own hands. I have dealt with abuse in my personal life and other types of harassment due to my race and had a few scrapes with the law for taking things into my own hands and have found it is better left for them to handle.

Again, I don't care what anyone other then my immediate family cares about me and I refuse to live in fear due to the current events in our society. I do not agree with the entire overweight kids due to scared parents, but don't want this this debate to go way out of context allhough that in itself is a form of abuse IMO.

Thanks for the open dialog and for sharing your knowledge on the topic.

[Valpo2004]

I am a Firefighter/EMT. I have dealt with countless cases of abuse and neglect.....a lot of people do not realize how much observation we have to do in our line of work. I have had to assist many a patient as a result of domestic/child abuse and have to restrain myself often so I can see your point on vigilantism and people wanting to take the law into their own hands. I have dealt with abuse in my personal life and other types of harassment due to my race and had a few scrapes with the law for taking things into my own hands and have found it is better left for them to handle.

Again, I don't care what anyone other then my immediate family cares about me and I refuse to live in fear due to the current events in our society. I do not agree with the entire overweight kids due to scared parents, but don't want this this debate to go way out of context allhough that in itself is a form of abuse IMO.

Thanks for the open dialog and for sharing your knowledge on the topic.

 

A big part of the reason kids don't go outside is scared parents IMO.  

 

Don't take me as saying that abuse doesn't happen or that isn't something that is relatively common.  But those are my reasons as to why we shouldn't inflate the statistics just to get attention or money.  

 

If you ever watched the South Park episode where everyone goes into a panic over their children being kidnapped you sort of get what I'm saying.  

 

Here is a synopsis of what I'm talking about.  

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Abduction_Is_Not_Funny

 

Over the top and ment for comedy but it does make a point.

[HOZER]

I remember that episode....fair enough I see where you're coming from.

It's funny how many kids movies/shows(well not South Park) seem to have a disguised message in them...Wall-E, Happy Feet, etc. just wonder how much of it goes unnoticed?

As crude as South Park can be.....there sometimes is a pretty good politically motivated message there.

[ProblChld32]

Classy

[Valpo2004]

I remember that episode....fair enough I see where you're coming from.

It's funny how many kids movies/shows(well not South Park) seem to have a disguised message in them...Wall-E, Happy Feet, etc. just wonder how much of it goes unnoticed?

As crude as South Park can be.....there sometimes is a pretty good politically motivated message there.

 

Out of the 3 major "adult cartoon" shows (South Park, Simpsons, Family Guy) I tend to like the messages South Park sends the best.  Don't always agree, but I think they do the best.  I also enjoy the fact that when they talk about being equal opportunity offenders, they arn't really lying.  I hear that "I'm an equal opportunity offender" bit a lot but when you get down to it these writers and comedians nearly always target the same people and groups.

 

South Park has pretty much done everyone.  

[ReMeDy]

"Calling it "an epidemic that usually goes silent," he cited statistics that say one in four women, one in seven men..."

I knew it was prevalent among men, but I didn't think it was one in seven. Pretty alarming.

 

I read about the story of the NFL cheerleader abusing her husband (I think it was her husband). The husband was kindly telling her to stop hitting him, but she kept hitting him. He recorded it on his cellphone. When the police arrived, the woman made up stories about him hitting her, yet they found scratches on the guy and the woman had no bruises or anything. The cellphone recording was pretty clear evidence.

[ColtStronger]

I remember that episode....fair enough I see where you're coming from.

It's funny how many kids movies/shows(well not South Park) seem to have a disguised message in them...Wall-E, Happy Feet, etc. just wonder how much of it goes unnoticed?

As crude as South Park can be.....there sometimes is a pretty good politically motivated message there.

South Park always has a good message lol.  Well, most of the time... Not presenting it in the most appropriate manner, but they're usually on target!

[Franklin County]

Dwayne Allen is a great down to earth guy.

 

He came over to where I was sitting (when it was brought to his attention that I couldn't stand in line, being weakened by radiation and chemotherapy) and signed my hat and talked with me about his health and my health. Until he was beckoned away to catch his flight.

 

I appreciated him taking the time to cheer an old man up, when I was going through such a rough time.

 

I  hope he is here in Indy to stay for a long time.

 

The world could use a few more Dwayne Allen's.

[SubZero]

Its great to see Dwayne take this seriously and get actively involved! When people are on the receiving end of domestic violence, they either get involved down the road or they fight against it!