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Lieutenant Brissett


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16 hours ago, presto123 said:

You have lived in America over the last 4 years right?

This is completely irrelevant.  Not liking the president doesn't rewrite history.... As much as this society is obsessed with editing everything... We are one generation away from teaching history as it's been run through Snapchat filters.... 

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On 8/29/2019 at 7:33 AM, csmopar said:

Hes gotta earn the Captain title, being he was basically 2nd in command behind Luck, the Lieutenant thing fits.  I just hope he's better at navigation than most Lieutenants (Vet joke)

An old man was sitting on his front porch when a patrol passed by.  About an hour later a Lieutenant walked up and asked the old man some questions.   "Did you see any soldiers pass by?  How long ago did they pass?  What direction were they going?  I must find them, I'm their leader!"

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It's not the same. The previous captain had much better aim and poise on the battlefield. Although, his sidearm would occasionally require repairs that went on for too long to the dismay of both the captain and the battle onlookers who were repeatedly assured this won't happen. I guess as they used to say - omnipresence is the best presence. Lets hope the Lieutenant can bring us the ultimate victory in this campaign. Either that or bring us the ultimate defeat so we can replace him with a younger more adroit commander in next year's conscription efforts. 

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Dear Sister,

As I have foretold, our unit dealt with the wildcats without my assistance, and subsequently 37 of my comrades have been sent home to their farms.  I remain anxious about the fate of Private Kelly.  He is being disciplined due to his problems with the devil’s water.  Lo, though he deserves his punishment, as his behavior before joining our unit was beastly and boorish.  However, I feel he is most skilled with his sidearm, and I am hopeful that he will receive his commission as my second in command after a fortnight in the brig.  I would entrust him with the lives of my men should I fall in battle, and I fear for the unit should that happen before he returns.

 

Such issues, however, must now be set aside, as reports out of the west are most dire.  Our old foe, the brash and vile Colonel Rivers, is threatening again.  His unit has executed many successful charges.  I feel we are ready for the challenge, and, come the time of battle, we shall steady the buffs with bayonets fixed.  All eyes shall be upon me, but I feel that our superior unit will win the day, even on unfamiliar ground.  Pray for us, dearest sister.  With the Lord’s help, we shall be feasting upon skunk feet and possum pie as victors this time next week!

Yours most truly,

Jacoby

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  • 3 weeks later...

Dearest Sister,

 

Much has transpired since last I wrote.  Our unit acquitted itself well against Colonel Rivers a week ago last.  But, alas we were beaten from the field when Artillery Officer Vinatieri failed to calibrate his weapons correctly, resulting in much lost ordinance and minimum damage to our opponent’s positions.  It was a most surprising development, as our battery has been the envy of the army for lo these many years.  And I fear you shall not believe me, but I swear that I’m not being deceitful when I tell you that Officer Vinatieri was equally misaligned yesterday when we faced Captain Mariotta’s ragtag group of motleys.  We were ultimately victorious, due primarily to glorious acts of bravery from Officers Hilton, Wilkins, Ebron, and Autry, not to mention my own modest contributions.  The brute force behind Lieutenant Nelson’s cavalry charge at enemy lines was a most beauteous sight that shall be etched in my mind for years to come (and in the minds of those poor sots on the receiving end for the rest of their lives).  However, despite our great victory, Officer Vinatieri has been unable to forgive himself for putting our unit in peril, and he has fallen into fearsomely low spirits.  The unit expects that he shall resign his commission before the week is concluded.  He has substantial acreage and desires to devote himself to gamekeeping in his twilight years.  This was an unforeseeable misfortune that has dampened the unit’s mood despite our victory.  However, should this be an end to a brilliant officer’s career, we shall raise our drinks, be it the finest Kentucky Bourbon or the foulest of rotgut, to the incredible fortune to have served with the greatest artillery officer since the invention of black powder!

 

Faithfully yours,

Jacoby

 

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