Apology for how I post on this forum and why

[Yoshinator]

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

[dodsworth]

FWIW, we all have some kind of mental issues

hanging out and posting on a football forum.

Us loons need to stick together JC. 

[compuls1v3]

Jared, thank you for sharing. I too have bipolar too (and live in CO for that matter) and I have some understanding of where you may be coming from. I remember a post of mine that was very optimistic about us going to the Super bowl if we all just "believed". I feel that was part of my mania. I find it brave that you are willing to share about your mental health, hopefully it gives some people perspective.

 

Sincerely,

David aka compuls1v3

[buccolts]

33 minutes ago, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

 

I was pretty suspicious something like this was going on, so didn't want to pile on.

 

I've worked with someone who's Bipolar, and couldn't deal with the meds, so they were on and off of them, and moods swayed accordingly. My daughter is autistic, so I'm more aware and sympathetic of metal health issues that I may have been 25 - 30 years ago. Heck, I'd bet I'm undiagnosed ADD, or worse, but I'll leave it undiagnosed (I got this far).

 

Anyway, thanks for sharing. I know it can be difficult, and can cause some problems for you, so take care of yourself.

 

But, doesn't this have an effect on your wagering hobby?

[AZColt11]

I don't think you need to apologize for anything here.  Be who you are and if someone doesn't like it they can move on, ignore, whatever.  If you're not being you, and if you're not saying what you feel, then what point is there to posting (so long as it's within the forum rules of course).  Take it easy.  

[Yoshinator]

12 minutes ago, buccolts said:

 

I was pretty suspicious something like this was going on, so didn't want to pile on.

 

I've worked with someone who's Bipolar, and couldn't deal with the meds, so they were on and off of them, and moods swayed accordingly. My daughter is autistic, so I'm more aware and sympathetic of metal health issues that I may have been 25 - 30 years ago. Heck, I'd bet I'm undiagnosed ADD, or worse, but I'll leave it undiagnosed (I got this far).

 

Anyway, thanks for sharing. I know it can be difficult, and can cause some problems for you, so take care of yourself.

 

But, doesn't this have an effect on your wagering hobby?

It has little to no effect on Fanduel or fantasy football, as I can just switch my lineup on a whim on the internet. Sports betting is very easy as well, as I can just do research, and make a bet, and the result is based on the game without further participation from me. The area where my bipolar really affected me negatively at the time (and I had to eventually stop because it got worse), was online poker. I started off playing at 18 years old, won a $50 tourney for $2700. I lost that in less than a day. I had to learn to try and set limits for myself, and even now, 13 years later, It's hard for me. That's why I go to casinos to play, and if I get up to $500, or feel like I want to bet a lot to gamble. I will go home.

 

I've actually gone from throwing my money around to being very frugal. I go to flea markets now and haggle for every dollar. That's a form of discipline for me. Yes though, it does have an effect on my everyday life, and I try to adjust every day. It's a reason I haven't had kids yet as well. I don't want to be a poor dad when times are bad and I can't handle it mentally or emotionally.

 

 

[Cynjin]

1 hour ago, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

 

Personally, I don't think you or anyone else on this board needs to apologize.  However, if you feel so inclined. 

 

Well, maybe a couple of the mods.

 

 

Joking about the mods.......maybe. ;)

[NewEra]

Thank you for the apology. We all can be a passionate and crazy bunch. Our frustrations come out and I know me for one am still learning to be responsive vs reactive. 

[Coffeedrinker]

Sorry to hear about your bipolar disorder. 

 

That being said, it a football forum.  No need to apologize if someone takes something you say or your reactions too seriously that is their problem not yours.

[NewEra]

1 hour ago, dodsworth said:

FWIW, we all have some kind of mental issues

hanging out and posting on a football forum.

Us loons need to stick together JC. 

I can completely resemble that heh

[Myles]

1 hour ago, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

Sorry to heart about you're condition.  

All is good though.

Don't expect us not to give you heck when you ask for it though.

[throwing BBZ]

1 hour ago, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

 

 Don't feel bad for pointing out the obvious. Luck is more like Elway in that his running was a huge part of his success. Certainly it is not a history of throwing BBZ into tight windows like i know i was EXPECTING. That he made 5 yard pass after pass in game one that was spot on leading his catchers was a revelation. Great to see that he finally showed he could do it. 
And yet sad also.
Andrew if anything has proven to me that he doesn't quickly vision tight throwing windows and just fire it into them. That is why he has held onto the ball waiting for his receivers to come out of their break then relying on his very strong arm to get it to them.
The DB's then have that extra moment to adjust causing more contested catches than would be if he could throw it a step or so sooner. Then we listen to the _____ here blaming them for catches they "should have" caught. What BULL!

 It is an Andrew problem that i highly doubt changes much. Unless of course you can give him another Reggie Wayne who Andrew would heave it out there to in double coverage because he trusted Reggie to catch Anything close to him.  Hail Reggie! A Marvel at tracking, adjusting, high pointing, hands catching, route running.  

[Case]

1 hour ago, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

Takes a lot of courage to make a post like this.

 

If we all agreed about everything, this forum would be pointless. Thanks for always sharing your opinion. 

[chad72]

@Jared Cisneros - takes a lot of courage to admit your weakness and trust to reveal a medical condition to fellow fans, most of whom are strangers to you. Props to you for that. 

 

Sometimes, I just look at my wife, my Dad, my wife's Dad, who are laid back and have a take-it-easy policy with life. I get strung up and anxious about so many things (must have got it from my Mom ), and laugh at my own reactions to situations looking back. That is life. There is no need to apologize for that, we are all humans with emotions, good and bad. 

[lollygagger8]

I commend you on your post Jared!

No need to apologize, and I don'tbelieve anyone on here hates you.

Besides, who cares if they did?

 

Not to make light of it, but I think everyone on here is a little bipolar (including myself) so we have that in common as well as being fans of this team!  

 

[TDewar1987]

Its all good dude. Like stated before i think all of us have some kind of mental issues lol. I know i do. Dont sweat it. 

[Devildog]

My hats off to you.  Being Bipolar is no joke and like people are saying here it takes a lot of courage to admit and apologize but personally I don't think that is necessary.  Thank you for sharing though.  

[RollerColt]

Apology accepted, though it's not needed my friend. I used to have huge anger issues through grade school and in to my young adult life. I can (relatively) understand what you're going through. 

 

The one thing that changed me and saved me was holding my baby daughter in my arms for the first time. That kid has taught me so much about patience, and allows me to take a step back and look at things differently. 

 

I still get super upset when the team does bad and loses, but at least I can get a hug from my daughter to give me perspective on how lucky I am. I hope you too can continue to fight your condition and have peace. 

 

Stay strong fellow Colts brotha!

[Four2itus]

Thank you Jared. I have been frustrated at how you come across. I thought you were just self centered. Thank you for being gutsy enough to state this. I am a very empathetic person, and I feel for you. I know what bipolar is, but have never really gotten close to someone who deals with it. 

 

I have learned much by posting on message boards such as these. I have posted things I have been proud of, posted things I regretted, and I have apologized publicly. Many have noted that saying sorry is not necessary...and that's true...unless the apology was for yourself. Then it can be healing. 

 

In the end, I do know from experience, that once I realized that I liked all that football had to offer, and I was not just a fan of winning, my experience became much more fun inside. When my team, who I love and defend....is not doing well, I find joy in seeing other teams finally getting their fun. We might be struggling, but seeing Browns fans with tears of joy running down their face, is actually more joyful and healing, than my team having another win or two at this point. 

 

Be at peace with yourself. We ALL deal with stuff, and move on, each day. 

[CR91]

@Jared Cisneros

 

Nothing to apologize for buddy. Its all in good fun 

[2006Coltsbestever]

Jared, no need to apologize. Yes I am one that doesn't like negativity but most people in here know you are a good guy and you speak your mind. You are definitely not a Troll. The people that have been here for years know your style. Thanks for explaining things though.

[Gabriel Alexander Morillo]

Very mature of you. I used to come on strong but real life completely gets in the way even for a yougin of 22 like myself. Now I just come here to read the news, scores and view the occasional argument. 

[shakedownstreet]

Fan is short for fanatic, after all

[Chrisaaron1023]

Aye, it's cool man. You aren't terrible in my book. Everyone on here has their own opinions about things. Who am I to judge? If you think everyone sucks and should be fired. Hey, those are your feelings. 

 

From my experiences and feelings. Losing now is not even a big deal. I would get all super down in the Prime Manning years. I'm sure much of that has to do with living smack dab in the middle of New England. But when we lost to the Bengals this year, I had a quick moment of anger, then I just realized its just a game. And went around my house giving my children high fives. "The Colts lost again!" Then they say it's okay daddy they Colts will win next game! 

 

Bro express your thoughts and feelings. That's why we signed up!

[MarquisJ]

@Jared Cisneros At the end of the day through all the arguments on here we are all still one big family #ColtsStrong

[NewColtsFan]

@Jared Cisneros   So proud of you!

 

Way to step up and own it.   I know it’s never easy.   At the end of the day you can see a good number of posters who say you have nothing to apologize for.  In the end,  our little community is just one big internet family.   And every family has a few crazy uncles (or two!)

 

Bottom line:   No worries, we’re all good.  Take a deep breath and enjoy the season! 

 

JaredStrong!          

 

[jvan1973]

@Jared Cisneros I know I have given you a hard time over the years, and you me.   I know you're a true friend of the Shoe

 

DILLY DILLY 

[jameszeigler834]

9 hours ago, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

Well I sure can understand that I have 4 of the 7 traits of Autism so my personality when i'm mad or angry about something clouds my judgement on what I say or don't say so I understand where your coming from im not ever positive when this team doesn't look good everybody on this forum knows it and like some things you post im sure I drive some or most people crazy with some of the stuff I post.  

[GoColts8818]

It take a lot of courage to speak out like that.  You have my respect!

[strt182]

Jared, I commend you on writing this. As I have said to you before if you need to talk hit me up. I like seeing some of the things you say sometime it does crack me up. However I know first hand what stress can do to the body, and I know just how short life can be and this is why i try to look at things in the most positive way I can even if i feel it is a negative. I know you are vest in some wagers and things and I like playing poker myself. But at the end of the day just remember that its a privilege that we are even able to watch and enjoy the game of football.  I get that football can seem like life for some people but there are alot of things that are BIGGER THEN FOOTBALL. 

[Malakai432]

10 hours ago, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

 

Props Jared!!  Even though some of your posts may bother people at times including myself, you have great post as well.  There’s really no need to apologize.  I really appreciate you bringing this fourth which helps people here understand your varying stances on the team.  Your a better man than myself.

[LockeDown]

I’ve always enjoyed your posts.  Keep on trucking. 

[pacolts56]

@Jared Cisneros.... like many have said.... it took courage to share your struggle with bipolar.  You have my respect for your honesty and prayers for your healing and wellness.

 

Football matters are secondary at best.... stay strong Jared! 

[funktacious2]

13 hours ago, NewEra said:

I can completely resemble that heh

 

14 hours ago, dodsworth said:

FWIW, we all have some kind of mental issues

hanging out and posting on a football forum.

Us loons need to stick together JC. 

Ah, my brothers... xD

[NorthernBlue]

Massive respect Jared, and anyone else who is willing to talk about what mental health stuff they’re going through. That takes massive guts, and I wish ya the best. Keep keeping it real .

 

On a side note regarding the forum...I use a multitude of different platforms to talk sports with people, including fan forums, sites, blogs, twitter, insta, and so on (yeah I’m a dork for sports. I accepted that fact a while ago ). And honestly, I feel like I disagree with like 60-70% of the views expressed here regarding the Colts....and yet this is my favourite site to talk football on. You guys are passionate for the colts, are respectful, knowledgeable on the game of football, funny, witty, and honestly just the best group of folks to talk football with on the internet. Differences of opinions and passionate and intelligent fans are exactly what makes us talking about our meaningless ball game so fun. So shout out to you @Jared Cisneros and everyone else who makes this fan forum go.

 

Go  

[Lawrence Owen]

Bro, I feel ya.  I have had A.D.D. since i was a toddler.  I generally have a VERY hard hard time concentrating on anything for an extended period of time.  Football is one of my exceptions though.  I love it so much, I can literally focus so hard on it, i end up tunnel visioned and not notice other things going on in my life that needs my attention.  Which is a very odd thing for someone with my condition. (i believe).

I get that some people kind of 'flow with the wind' per say. I'm the darn opposite.  I see something once, and i'm stuck with that impression.  Then, if something other than that happens that is contrary to what i've seen, It's an anomaly in my mind.  It takes many, many occurances of this anomaly to change my perspective on it.

My A.D.D. also has me worried about this forum because even though football is something i can focus on, I tend to change subject matter dramatically, and at the drop of a hat. I'm scared i can lose perturbed readers at such dramatic changes my mind goes through while typing.  

 

As for the team, There are drives where you see everything happen perfectly, and you think this team can do nothing wrong.  And then the next drive look like the most inept piece of garbage in the NFL.  I've decided long ago, to just see a team as a game by game basis.  Since each team battles others differently.  The #32 team could have loose big to the #31 team, but then Beat the #1 team the following week.  So I have to see them as an individual group vrs the team we play next, rather than compare to the league on an overall competition.  Because a team is flowing daily.  Losing players, Adding players, injured players, learning players, things happening in a players personal life. No team is ever the same week to week. And these changes can be dramatic. So it is really difficult to project a team throughout a year, from the early weeks of a season.  I just cheer them on, hope for the best.  I may study, and react like all other fans, But teams flow and ebb like my A.D.D. .

[TheRustonRifle#7]

On ‎9‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 8:47 AM, Jared Cisneros said:

NCF does a yearly apology thread for when he makes people mad with his posts on this forum. I want to do one here and explain why I act the way I do at times to people who have no idea, or just think I'm completely crazy or a troll.

 

I have Bipolar. That means I'm going to be at both extremes when it comes to anything happening on the Colts, good or bad. When good news happens and we are successful, I'm the most optimistic person on the forum and will actually overreact in a positive way because I'm so excited something good is happening. I'm the person who was telling my mom about Darius Leonard and his week 2 game three different times when I visited my dad and her to watch wrestling on Monday the next night. I was talking to my best friend at midnight 10 hours later because I still was giddy like a schoolgirl over what he did.

 

Likewise, when someone like Luck struggles, it brings me down to a certain depression, and makes me question him, my love for football, and all sorts of thoughts go through my head whether he'll ever play at a decent level again. I see a game like last night with Cousins and Goff putting on an incredible performance and wish Luck could do that. I'm 31 right now, and I've never been in a position from a football team standpoint where I've had my team's QB be a bust besides the 2011 season. I'm still adjusting to it personally and it's very depressing for me.

 

However, I want to apologize to all the posters who I drive crazy with my posts. I don't hate this team, I don't want to spread negativity on this forum or start arguments. That's not my intentions. It's very difficult to control my emotions when I see Luck play like this, then we have to wait another week to see if he improves his game. When a team is doing well, we enjoy the week, when they are suffering, it seems like eternity til that next game to try and get your rhythm back. I'm not the most patient guy (though I've gotten better at it), and I understand Luck is rusty and trying to recover, it just puts me in a depression to see him this way. I salute all of you who can genuinely believe he will recover. I wish I had the same mindset as you. In my mind, he's the QB, so he is the team, and we can't win without him (though the defense is better now).

 

So in closing, I'm very sorry for driving everyone here crazy on a daily basis. As much as you all may hate me for bashing Luck or spreading negativity, it hurts myself more than anyone. I love being positive for this team and want to be a happy person on here 100% of the time and talk about how great Ballard and Reich are doing, and how we are going to win the SB. It's very fun for me and it keeps me up at night in a good way when it happens. All I can say is, thanks for putting up with me if you do. Sometimes I don't deserve it and I genuinely want to be the best poster possible, I'm also the most extreme poster possible from both ends and it can be good or bad.

 

I hope you can forgive me if I upset you in the past, and this helps you see how I view football from my viewpoint. Thanks!

Youngblood....when I was your age I took on three Steeler's fans in a bar after the 1996 AFC Title Game...I came out unscathed and was luckily not arrested.  I paid for the stools I broke over their bodies and left.  We all have passion in our life, meaning that we can either use it to our advantage or use it to our demise.....please choose the first.  As you age you will see that in the greater scheme in life, that silly things like arguing over sports means nothing.  Peace and love man...

[cdgacoltsfan]

No worries..I always read your posts and remember that you were spot on the the trade with the Jets. Keep positive and keep up the great work.