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Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing Posting


Nadine

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blog-0254305001359134990.jpgNobody likes to be condescended to. Being on the receiving end of patronizing and belittling comments is annoying and frustrating and can be a cause of conflict between members here on the forums.

Technically this is not against the rules but, if it is persistent and causes ongoing issues then moderation may have to step in.

However, we think it's important that the people posting make every effort to resolve their own conflicts.

Some things to think about.........

(1) Am I condescending? (Do you like to sarcastically talk down to other people in an effort to make them look beneath you? Take this quiz to find out just how condescending you really are!)

(2) Are I REALLY being condescended to? Just do a reality check. At times I find it interesting here that people do not notice the condescension doled out here on the boards when it is being done by someone they agree with and being done TO SOMEONE they disagree with. And yet, notice it readily when it comes their way

(3) What can I do to handle condescending posts directed at me?

There are a lot of choices that can be made here. I get my share of these sorts of comments directed at me and I have found this to be the best way to respond

What works for you?

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Excellent topic and as always point on analysis, Nadine.:) I would like to add that my late grandfather doled out to me some similiar words or nuggets of wisdom. He told me, "treat everybody like they are somebody and if by chance they prove themselves to be nobody still treat them as if they were simply anybody else.":) In other words, kill them with kindness and bowl them over with humor and intelligently agree to disagree on particular matters especially in the case of subjective material. I have learned that if we look for common ground and remember it is the subject matter and not the subject we may take issue with there is less area to find reasons to read someone the riot act...lol. Also, reinforcing one's argument with statistical information is a lot more convincing than capitalized letters or sarcasm or even condescending attacks. In hypothetical cases it is merely conjecture or opinion which is being challenged so we need to remember to respect each other and to understand we are entitled to our opinion. I like to follow these types of rules when engaging in conversations with others and it seems to help me to deal with others on the same level and with minimum issues. Just my .02. :)

J~

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Excellent topic and as always point on analysis, Nadine. :) I would like to add that my late grandfather doled out to me some similiar words or nuggets of wisdom. He told me, "treat everybody like they are somebody and if by chance they prove themselves to be nobody still treat them as if they were simply anybody else.":) In other words, kill them with kindness and bowl them over with humor and intelligently agree to disagree on particular matters especially in the case of subjective material. I have learned that if we look for common ground and remember it is the subject matter and not the subject we may take issue with there is less area to find reasons to read someone the riot act...lol. Also, reinforcing one's argument with statistical information is a lot more convincing than capitalized letters or sarcasm or even condescending attacks. In hypothetical cases it is merely conjecture or opinion which is being challenged so we need to remember to respect each other and to understand we are entitled to our opinion. I like to follow these types of rules when engaging in conversations with others and it seems to help me to deal with others on the same level and with minimum issues. Just my .02. :)

J~

Your grandfather was right.

My mom also always told me to be super nice to people who seem to be super rude..........because you just never know what kind of day they've had and maybe you can make their day better.

She's nicer than me though!

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I'm still relatively new and obviously, you do get a lot of attacks...

I try not to put motives on people......In other words....dont say "You just said that because you are a .......####..avoid answers that start with 'people like you' ...stay on the point

..and answer the question....that was asked...straight up...Then comment all you want......but ask questions and answer them.....it gets things going..

......also understand that some people are here because they WANT to

insult others anonymously...fans of otehr teams come on foreign sites so they can start fights....that's what they get out of posting...Just handle them........they dont know you....when they insult you..ask them what do they think? What's their opinion...?

That either gets no answer or it moves the discussion along...

......and if folks seem angry..ask them why? they want to tell you.

Its another way to move the discussion along..

I used to be able to use the icons..(I havent ben able to for months now) and they help...a smiley face or a cartoon keeps it light.

Just some thoughts..

  • Like 1
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I'm still relatively new and obviously, you do get a lot of attacks...

I try not to put motives on people......In other words....dont say "You just said that because you are a .......####..avoid answers that start with 'people like you' ...stay on the point

..and answer the question....that was asked...straight up...Then comment all you want......but ask questions and answer them.....it gets things going..

......also understand that some people are here because they WANT to

insult others anonymously...fans of otehr teams come on foreign sites so they can start fights....that's what they get out of posting...Just handle them........they dont know you....when they insult you..ask them what do they think? What's their opinion...?

That either gets no answer or it moves the discussion along...

......and if folks seem angry..ask them why? they want to tell you.

Its another way to move the discussion along..

I used to be able to use the icons..(I havent ben able to for months now) and they help...a smiley face or a cartoon keeps it light.

Just some thoughts..

how come you cannot use the emoticons? 

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