shecolt

The "Real Life Happens" Support Thread

78 posts in this topic

Yesterday, I posted in three threads started by members who were going through a rough time in their life.  That made me think that this thread (which is one that I shamelessly admit I stole from another board) may be a good idea.

 

It has been a very popular thread on that board which is both good and bad.  Bad in that it is a testament to how difficult life can be at times.  Good in that it is also a testament to how so many others have been quick to give their support to others.

 

I don't want this thread to stop anyone from making their own thread; but I know that some may be hesitant to do that  . . . in which case, I invite any of you who may be facing a difficult time to post here.  It can be anything from illness, the death of a loved one, trying to get a good job or scholarship, etc. 

 

There may also be those who wish to remain private regarding any difficulties they may be facing.  If so, please feel free to just ask for support as you deal with whatever is troubling you.

 

Although we usually think of the word "support" as being given in a time of need, I would also like to invite others to share any great things that may be happening in your life so that we can give you the support of congratulations and high-fives.  

 

While I don't want this thread to be about me, the only way I know to kick it off is by sharing something that I'm currently dealing with in my life.  So, I'll go on to make another post.

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She is beautiful! 

 My daughter just turned 1 last week and I feel so thankful for her health. I don't even want to imagine how difficult it would be for her to be dealing with what your granddaughter and family are going through. 

I wish you, your granddaughter, and family the very best luck. 

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she's gorgeous 

Praying for the best for her and your fam

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What a beauty and so sorry for the problems the poor little Angel has to deal with.....I have a Daughter who is turning 8 in two months and can appreciate your concern for your Grand Daughter's well being and the sad irony of what it will take to help her....my best wishes to you and your Family.

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Thank you for sharing this. She is gorgeous. I too am praying for the best for your granddaughter,  you and your family. :hug:

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Recently things have changed for us. My husband has been unemployed for several years. He writes some stories for Amazon, but I'm the main breadwinner in the family.

 

I work in dietary department in a hospital. Last year our department "restructured" and my hours were cut; I went from full time to part time. It hasn't been easy, trying to adjust everything financially. We've had to downsize considerably in our lifestyle. We've had enough to pay bills, but that's about it.

 

On the positive side, we're still able to get health insurance through my job. And I do have a retirement fund through them. Premiums have increased, but that was kind of expected.

 

So, when you think you're getting ahead, "life happens" and you're back to square one.

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@shecolt the photo you posted of sweet Elizabeth is one of my favorites.  As always, I continue to keep her in my prayers and have since she was born.  

 

@teganslaw yes, life does happen, and not always the way we hope or plan for.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope everything takes a turn for the better for you.  It seems like you have a good attitude, and that's great.

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Today, I will be attending the funeral service of my grandson's  "other" grandma.   As I stated in another thread, this has hit me like a ton of bricks.  She has always been such an important figure in Tanner's life and a real comfort to me for the time and love she's given him over the years.

 

Hug your loved ones a little more often, and hold those hugs a little tighter.  Tomorrow is not promised.

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My thanks to all of you for your kinds words.  That really means a lot to me.  

 

In the past year, I've learned a lot about different organizations that lend their assistance to others.  I won't talk about all of them because I fear I would bore you.

 

However, I want to say something about the Ronald McDonald House (which has been a real blessing). Like me, I'm sure that you are all familiar with what they do.  However, it wasn't until they become an important part of our lives that I took the time to do some research and learned something that I didn't know and which I find especially fitting given that this is a football board.

 

So, for anyone who wasn't aware; the Ronald McDonald House was brought about due to the effort of Fred Hill, who played for the Eagles.  Having a daughter diagnosed with leukemia, Fred and his wife thought there should be a better solution than parents having to sleep on hospital chairs and benches.  

 

With the support of the team, the Ronald McDonald House was born.  I loved reading this because we so often read too many negative stories regarding the NFL.  Here is a link if anyone would like to know more:

 

http://www.rmhcphilly.org/who-are-we/history-of-rmhc/

 

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14 hours ago, teganslaw said:

Recently things have changed for us. My husband has been unemployed for several years. He writes some stories for Amazon, but I'm the main breadwinner in the family.

 

I work in dietary department in a hospital. Last year our department "restructured" and my hours were cut; I went from full time to part time. It hasn't been easy, trying to adjust everything financially. We've had to downsize considerably in our lifestyle. We've had enough to pay bills, but that's about it.

 

On the positive side, we're still able to get health insurance through my job. And I do have a retirement fund through them. Premiums have increased, but that was kind of expected.

 

So, when you think you're getting ahead, "life happens" and you're back to square one.

 

So sorry to hear this.  While my circumstances are different, I know what it's like to live on a limited income. No matter how many coupons you clip or pennies you pinch, those bills just keep coming.

 

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for better days ahead.

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11 hours ago, Mrs. Misunderstood said:

Today, I will be attending the funeral service of my grandson's  "other" grandma.   As I stated in another thread, this has hit me like a ton of bricks.  She has always been such an important figure in Tanner's life and a real comfort to me for the time and love she's given him over the years.

 

Hug your loved ones a little more often, and hold those hugs a little tighter.  Tomorrow is not promised.

 

Oh, what a difficult day you and your family must have had.  

 

Your closing words were ones of great wisdom . . .  so here is a big  :hug: from me to you.

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20 hours ago, teganslaw said:

Recently things have changed for us. My husband has been unemployed for several years. He writes some stories for Amazon, but I'm the main breadwinner in the family.

 

I work in dietary department in a hospital. Last year our department "restructured" and my hours were cut; I went from full time to part time. It hasn't been easy, trying to adjust everything financially. We've had to downsize considerably in our lifestyle. We've had enough to pay bills, but that's about it.

 

On the positive side, we're still able to get health insurance through my job. And I do have a retirement fund through them. Premiums have increased, but that was kind of expected.

 

So, when you think you're getting ahead, "life happens" and you're back to square one.

I know so many people in this same boat.  I keep telling my kids SAVE, live below your means.  You never know when this economy is going to spit you out. A few years ago my husband had to close his business.  We downsized and the main bread winner shifted to me.  He found a job, pay is not much but he's mostly working for health insurance and that is key. So, we are doing ok.

 

It happens to young people as well.  My sister's son and his wife have 5 kids and the 4th was born with a heart defect.  Multiple surgeries for her sent them into bankruptcy.  Right now she is doing well.  He took a job in Texas that offered more $$, so they moved the family.  My sister is heartbroken because all her grandchildren are now growing up so far away.  Last week, he called to tell her that they were going to buy a house in Texas.  He said he wanted to come home but there were so many opportunities in Texas and the cost of living so much lower that they decided to stay and put down roots. I wonder if she will also move to Texas.  I think I would.

 

I am thankful that my kids live nearby and all are healthy.  Hang in there.  That's what most of us are doing.

 

 

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On ‎2‎/‎25‎/‎2016 at 9:33 AM, teganslaw said:

Recently things have changed for us. My husband has been unemployed for several years. He writes some stories for Amazon, but I'm the main breadwinner in the family.

 

I work in dietary department in a hospital. Last year our department "restructured" and my hours were cut; I went from full time to part time. It hasn't been easy, trying to adjust everything financially. We've had to downsize considerably in our lifestyle. We've had enough to pay bills, but that's about it.

 

On the positive side, we're still able to get health insurance through my job. And I do have a retirement fund through them. Premiums have increased, but that was kind of expected.

 

So, when you think you're getting ahead, "life happens" and you're back to square one.

Is there a medical reason your husband has been unemployed for several years?  I was just wondering. I worked from the time I was 16 years old till I became disabled 3 year ago. That was 43 years and the longest I ever went unemployed was 2 weeks and that was back in 1979. Maybe it's time for him to find a job if he don't have a medical problem preventing him from doing so?

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I just wanted to say thank you for stating this topic, stolen or otherwise it's nice to see members coming together and supporting each other :thmup:

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I appreciate the responses I've gotten. To answer the question: my husband left the company where he worked a few years ago, because of  a hostile workplace environment. He had gotten stressed out, but it  wasn't anything that could be listed as a disability. He did get another job and was laid off after a year. He tried looking for other jobs after that, but  never found anything, so he just gave up. He will be eligible for Social Security soon, anyway.

 

I'm not depressed about the situation; we're managing OK. Had to downsize, and I'm finding out that there is a lot a person can do without, if necessary.

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It has been a rough couple of weeks around here.   

 

The latest...   A friend of mine, that I've known since High school,  had surgery this past Friday.   Following surgery while still in the hospital she had multiple strokes.   

 

I got the message Sunday night that she had numerous strokes after heart surgery and to pray. Monday, I got an update that she was much better but still very confused.

 

It is my understanding that right now, she doesn't know her own name or who she's married to. She's still very confused. She's an amazing gal, so full of life. She'll conquer this.

 

After her brain scan on Sunday the Docs said that prognosis was not good. Much has happened the past two days and they are amazed at how well she is now doing. The neurologist checked all her reflexes, and I understand she can move everything. Said the strokes were in the back of her brain affecting her vision. She can see but something like tunnel vision. They said the next 6 months would determine how much she recoupes.

 

You feel so dang helpless in a situation like this.  My heart aches for her and her family.   She has two daughters and 6 grandchildren.   I can't even imagine how scary and confusing it is for those precious little ones that their grandma who has ALWAYS doted on them, right now doesn't have a clue who they are.

 

Things like this make us really appreciate our sound minds and good health.   Don't take things for granted.

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@Mrs. Misunderstood  I'm so sorry to hear this.  After the recent passing of Tanner's grandmother, it must be especially difficult to have another loved one go through so much.  My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you.  If you are so inclined; I would appreciate hearing of any updates you may ever have on your friend's condition.

 

Also, I want to thank you for posting again as I was concerned that this thread may get buried and end up in the land of archived threads.  I realize that may sound strange as if I am wanting others to be in need of support.  That's far from the case.  So, I will try to explain myself better.

 

In my opening post, I said that I had stolen this thread from another board.  What I didn't say was that it was a Patriot board and that the thread was started in 2008 by a fan of the Colts.  There are often weeks/months that go by without a post, but that thread is still going strong.

 

Since Patriot fans and Colt fans are so often more like this :shout:, I found it inspiring to see Patriot fans and Colt fans being more like this  :hug: when it comes to the things in life that really matter the most.

 

Or, as SteelCityColt so eloquently said . . .  it's nice to see members coming together and supporting each other.

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An update on my granddaughter:

 

On Friday, she was rushed back to Riley due to running a temp.  Blood cultures showed that she has an infection in her central line. :(

 

Since then, they have been continuing to do blood cultures so that they can identify the organism that is growing and thereby pinpoint the appropriate antibiotic to treat it.

 

As with anything in life, I have found that if one looks . . . one can often find the silver lining or the positive.

 

For my granddaughter and her family that silver lining has been Riley.  Without them, their family would have had to relocate just to be put on the transplant list.

 

So, here's a :thmup: to the city of Indianapolis and to Riley for being there for us and for taking such excellent care of my little princess.  

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@shecolt I really hope that today brings good news for your grand baby.

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Thinking of you Shecolt today, and saying an extra prayer for sweet Elizabeth. 

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@shecolt I too am praying for Elizabeth, you and your family. I also hope that the landline situation is resolved today. 

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Praying for you and your family. Hope you can get everything resolved one at a time. Praying for your sweet granddaughter as she is precious and beautiful!

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My thanks again to all of you for your kind words of support.  :grouphug:

 

Now for my update:

 

They were not able to find the correct antibiotic to clear up the infection in my granddaughter's central line. So, yesterday; she had surgery to remove it.  That was her 9th surgery in the past year.  The plan then was to wait a few days to be sure there was no more sign of infection before she would have another surgery to put in another central line.

 

However, that 10th surgery came much sooner and was much different than we expected as my daughter got the call that the needed organs were available.  Since they were already at Riley, the timing couldn't have been better.

 

This surgery is a very complicated one that can take as long as 12 hours.  So, I spent a lot of time pacing the floor into the wee hours of the morning while I ran through a series of mixed emotions . . . thankfulness that my granddaughter had been the opportunity to receive the needed organs, fear as there is no guarantee that the surgery will be successful, and sadness knowing that this meant another family had to say goodbye to a baby/small child.

 

While the next few days are critical, I am happy to say that the surgery went well.  

 

 

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The last few days have been unpleasant. My wife's mother passed away unexpectedly at 2:30 AM on Tuesday morning. I was out of town so I had to race back to intercept my hysterical wife from driving all the way to Indy by herself. Her mom had been sick for a while, but no one, including her doctors, realized she was this sick. Her poor stepdad is lost.

 

To make it worse, she was tentatively diagnosed with one of the MEN-1 family of ailments which can cause tumors in the pituitary, pancreas, and parathyroid. It is an autosomal dominant hereditary disease. My wife's older (estranged) half-brother was diagnosed with it last year, unbeknownst to the family. They think her grandpa died of it, but was misdiagnosed with Crohn's. Her younger brother has been treated for multiple tumors over the past ten years, and we're only now realizing that all of his symptoms align with this disease. It's possible that my wife and her niece and nephew have it. Everyone has to get tested.

 

So boo to bad genetics.

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@nburgmei

 

Your last few days sound more than unpleasant to me.  I am so sorry.

 

I've never heard of MEN-1, but it sounds horrific.  I will be keeping your wife, you, and your family in my prayers with the hopes that all tests come back negative.  

 

I also want to extend my sympathy to your family.  Losing a loved one is never easy, but I have found it to be especially difficult when they are taken so unexpectedly.  

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22 hours ago, nburgmei said:

The last few days have been unpleasant. My wife's mother passed away unexpectedly at 2:30 AM on Tuesday morning. I was out of town so I had to race back to intercept my hysterical wife from driving all the way to Indy by herself. Her mom had been sick for a while, but no one, including her doctors, realized she was this sick. Her poor stepdad is lost.

 

To make it worse, she was tentatively diagnosed with one of the MEN-1 family of ailments which can cause tumors in the pituitary, pancreas, and parathyroid. It is an autosomal dominant hereditary disease. My wife's older (estranged) half-brother was diagnosed with it last year, unbeknownst to the family. They think her grandpa died of it, but was misdiagnosed with Crohn's. Her younger brother has been treated for multiple tumors over the past ten years, and we're only now realizing that all of his symptoms align with this disease. It's possible that my wife and her niece and nephew have it. Everyone has to get tested.

 

So boo to bad genetics.

 

I am so sorry about all this. My condolences to you, your wife and the family. 

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As I read this entire thread still grieving from the 3 losses of family members in the last 6 months, I am reminded what came to me while praying the Lord's Prayer one evening. Nothing good ever dies. For how can it? It's eternal home has snatched it from the grasp of evil. For if we live without hope, we are doomed from the start. 

 

My sincerest condolences to the members who have lost loved ones, and my very best well wishes for those who are enduring hardships. Our prayers are with you all.

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1 minute ago, ColtRider said:

 

As I read this entire thread still grieving from the 3 losses of family members in the last 6 months, I am reminded what came to me while praying the Lord's Prayer one evening. Nothing good ever dies. For how can it? It's eternal home has snatched it from the grasp of evil. For if we live without hope, we are doomed from the start. 

 

My sincerest condolences to the members who have lost loved ones, and my very best well wishes for those who are enduring hardships. Our prayers are with you all.

Welcome back.   You were missed while you were away.

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Just now, Gramz said:

Welcome back.   You were missed while you were away.

 

Thank you, Gramz! I certainly missed quite a few of our members as well, including you. Glad to be back. :) And, thanks again.

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Got a call from my mom this week.  She told me my nephews exwife had died.  She was struggling with addiction and was just out of rehab again.  It was likely an overdose.  She leaves two young sons who were already struggling. Too soon, too young, and too much pain for her sons. I had not seen her since this past summer when she came to my dads funeral.  Her boys, my sisters grandsons had grown so much, I hardly recognized them.

 

I went to a play last night. It was set in the 50s and was about a trash collector who had been in the negro baseball leagues before Jackie Robinson,  and never had the success he should have.  And while he had a family and a home, his anger led him to damage all his relationships.  

 

Reminders to me that time and people are precious.  Hugs to all in this thread.

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Thanks everyone. It's been a rough few days. My wife is doing well enough given the circumstances. I think the outpouring of support for her and her stepdad really helped.

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16 hours ago, Nadine said:

Got a call from my mom this week.  She told me my nephews exwife had died.  She was struggling with addiction and was just out of rehab again.  It was likely an overdose.  She leaves two young sons who were already struggling. Too soon, too young, and too much pain for her sons. I had not seen her since this past summer when she came to my dads funeral.  Her boys, my sisters grandsons had grown so much, I hardly recognized them.

 

I went to a play last night. It was set in the 50s and was about a trash collector who had been in the negro baseball leagues before Jackie Robinson,  and never had the success he should have.  And while he had a family and a home, his anger led him to damage all his relationships.  

 

Reminders to me that time and people are precious.  Hugs to all in this thread.

 

I recently attended an intervention so I know how difficult it can be for all involved with an addiction problem. My heart breaks for those young sons who are left without a mother. So sad.

 

 

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24 minutes ago, nburgmei said:

Thanks everyone. It's been a rough few days. My wife is doing well enough given the circumstances. I think the outpouring of support for her and her stepdad really helped.

 

I'm happy to hear that your wife has been receiving a lot of support.  There have been times in this thread and others that I have wanted to say . . . I hope that life brings you some "olive jello" moments in the days ahead.

 

However, I haven't because no one would know what I meant and would probably just take it as confirmation that they were correct in doubting my sanity.

 

So, I'm going to explain an "olive jello" moment to you and everyone else so that I can freely wish you and others an "olive jello" moment.  Here goes:

 

My father was a brittle diabetic who underwent three amputations prior to his passing.  Although we knew the end was near, it came much quicker than we thought.  Consequently,  I was the only family member with him when he passed.

 

Prior to that, I had always been the person who "got the call".  So, the morning of his funeral; I was a mess. Not only was I saying my final goodbye to a wonderful, loving father; but the memory of his death was very fresh in my mind.

 

If anyone had told me that morning that my tears of sorrow would turn into tears of laughter later in the day, I probably would have slapped them.  However, that's exactly what happened.

 

My church offers a funeral dinner where they supply the meat, potatoes, hot veggie, and drinks.  Members are called on a rotating basis and asked to bring deviled eggs, salads, and desserts.  

 

The immediate family is the first to go through the serving line.  When I got to the salad/dessert section, I saw a huge bowl of lime jello that was liberally laced with green olives.  Now, even if I didn't detest green olives; there is no way they should be combined with lime jello.

 

Any food that is left over is sent home with the family.  It looked like only one person was brave enough to taste the olive jello.  So, there was a lot of that left.  As I carried that bowl into my mother's home, I wondered who in my church disliked my family enough to give us olive jello.

 

Later that day, when we decided to eat a bit of supper; I wanted to throw out that olive jello.  But, my mother wouldn't hear of it.  She was always raised that no throws out food.  

 

So, she took a serving of it and my oldest brother decided to join her.  As they sat there trying to eat that olive jello, the expressions on their faces had me smiling more and more.  When my mother finally said, "It tastes like a cat peed in it.  Throw it out" . . . I started laughing so hard that I was crying.

 

Since then, I have wondered who in my church loves my family enough to give us olive jello because along with the sad memories; I will always have the olive jello memory.  

 

Life can often throw some tough things our way.  So, that's why I often tell others (and am now telling you) that I hope life also brings some "olive jello" moments to help offset the bad.

 

 

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7 hours ago, shecolt said:

 

Life can often throw some tough things our way.  So, that's why I often tell others (and am now telling you) that I hope life also brings some "olive jello" moments to help offset the bad.

Laughing really is the best medicine.  

IDK about olive jello.  Makes me think of 'sandwich loaf' I've hated that whenever I've encountered it

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Another update on my granddaughter:

 

While she still has a long way to go and her progress has been slow, it has been steady . . . which is great as I've always heard that slow and steady wins the race.  

 

A few day's go, she had a test done to be sure that there wasn't any leakage where her esophagus was stitched to her new stomach.  This test required her to drink a barium mixture.  The techs warned that this stuff tastes really nasty and to expect difficulty in getting her to drink it.

 

However, she gobbled it which had one of the techs grabbing for a camera as it was such a rarity to see a young child willingly drink that so easily.

 

The reason I am sharing this is because this is the same little girl who wouldn't even let the tiniest bit of her birthday cake and ice cream anywhere near her mouth.  So, it was amazing to see her wanting to eat again. And, since the test went well; she is now receiving small oral feedings on a regular basis.  

 

Riley continues to impress me with everything they do to try to help patients and their families enjoy their stay a bit more.  My daughter and her husband were recently invited to play a TV game show on my granddaughter's behalf and won two prizes for her.  When my grandson arrived for a visit; he was given a bag containing a puzzle, coloring book, crayons, play doh, a toy car, etc.  That really helped him get over not being able to actually see his little sister.

 

 

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6 hours ago, shecolt said:

However, she gobbled it which had one of the techs grabbing for a camera as it was such a rarity to see a young child willingly drink that so easily.

That is amazing!  A very good sign

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Yesterday, was my granddaughter's one-month transplantaversary and I'm happy to say that  she continues to progress, albeit slowly.

 

It has been amazing to watch a one-year old who barely had the strength to sit up now starting to get to the point where she is at least putting herself into the crawling position.

 

Whenever she goes into a public setting (which is basically just doctor and hospital visits right now); she has to wear a face mask.  The disposable ones made for children are too big which in turn really annoys her to the point that she ripped out her NJ tube when trying to rid herself of that face mask.

 

So, I have been busy making some face masks for her that she tolerates much better.  My latest was a Colt's face mask so that she can rock Indy in style on her frequent visits to Riley.  

 

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