I appreciate your input, support and sympathy. I agree with all you said. I have a golden doodle that is the smartest dog I have ever had. I used to raise golden retrievers and he is way more intelligent than any I had. He is pretty fun and appropriately named.... Jarvis (Ironman). He hangs with me a lot during the day and never has anything bad to say and is rarely in a bad mood, lol.
I don't want to paint a picture that I am always sad and in the dumps because I truly enjoy life and the people I have in mine. A wonderful wife, great stepson, awesome mother and stepdad, and my other nephew who is the brother to the one we lost, just to name a few.
Some days can be really hard to get through. I have always believed in the saying that if you put everyone's problems in a grab bag and have their problem for a day you will want yours back because you know how to deal with them. So I don't want people to feel bad for me, but I wanted to tell my story.
On a good note, I get involved in a lot of research programs regarding my blood disease in hopes they can find treatments that are better than what I have had or even a cure some day. Its worth the effort to me.